Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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LOOK AT THE TITS ON THIS !!! 
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- A five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer.
- The preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass the kid.
- "Aren"t you a little young to be drinking, son?" he asked.
- "That"s nothing," the kid said after taking a swig of beer.
- "I got laid when I was three."
- "What? How did that happen?"
- "I don"t remember. I was drunk."
- I awoke early one morning
- The Earth lay cool and still
- When suddenly a tiny bird
- Perched on my windowsill
- He sang a song so lovely
- So carefree and so gay
- That slowly all my troubles
- Began to slip away
- He sang of far off places
- Of laughter and of fun
- It seemed his very trilling
- Brought up the morning sun
- I stirred beneath the covers
- Crept slowly out of bed
- Gently shut the window
- And crushed his f*cking head!
- I am NOT a morning person!!
- Who says men can"t multi-task?
- I can shag my wife and think about her sister at the same time.
- We were that poor when I was a kid, my parents used to get my school clothes from the Army surplus shop.
- Nothing wrong with that you might say.
- But do you realise how badly bullied you get going school dressed as a Japanese sniper.