- A lady who lived on a hill
- Used dynamite sticks for a thrill
- They found her vagina In North Carolina
- And bits of her tits in Brazil
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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Experts have said by the year 2025, you will be no longer than 6 foot away from a former Leeds United manager.
Got pulled over by the police last night.
He said, "Sir do you know your car was swerving all over the road?" I replied, "Sorry officer but I've drunk ten pints up the pub and feel a bit pissed."
He said, "That's no excuse to let your wife drive!"
He said, "Sir do you know your car was swerving all over the road?" I replied, "Sorry officer but I've drunk ten pints up the pub and feel a bit pissed."
He said, "That's no excuse to let your wife drive!"
The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with last nights performance that they have said they will personally refund all the expenses to their fans who travelled to support them.
All they need to do is send their bank details, sort codes and Mothers maiden names and they will transfer the money straight to them......
All they need to do is send their bank details, sort codes and Mothers maiden names and they will transfer the money straight to them......
One day, a man walked into a dentist's surgery and asked how much it would cost to extract a wisdom tooth.
"Forty quid," the dentist said.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man said. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist said, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock the price down to 30 pounds."
Looking annoyed, the man said, "That's still far too expensive!"
"Okay," said the dentist. "If I save on time and simply rip the tooth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to 10 pounds."
"Nope," moaned the man, "it's still too much."
"Well," said the dentist finally, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it using pliers, I suppose I can knock the price down to a fiver."
"Marvelous!" said the man. "Book my wife in for next Tuesday!"
"Forty quid," the dentist said.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man said. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist said, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock the price down to 30 pounds."
Looking annoyed, the man said, "That's still far too expensive!"
"Okay," said the dentist. "If I save on time and simply rip the tooth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to 10 pounds."
"Nope," moaned the man, "it's still too much."
"Well," said the dentist finally, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it using pliers, I suppose I can knock the price down to a fiver."
"Marvelous!" said the man. "Book my wife in for next Tuesday!"
- News just in. the NHS are now paying 60 pounds for sperm donations...
- which makes the old towel under my bed worth a few grand