Off Topic Jokes thread

[Wooperts_duck]

The local Chinese to me are having a special tomorrow on Insect legs.

I couldn't believe it when I first saw it but apparently, they're the "bees knees!".

 

[Wooperts_duck]

Dinners ready !!

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[Wooperts_duck]

Saw an advert this morning.........." Hair pieces from £5.00 "

I thought that's a small price toupee.

 

[Wooperts_duck]

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[antipodean exile]

• Two fellas walking down the street come across a dog licking it's balls.
• One says to the other "Cor I wish I could do that!"
• The other replied "Wouldn't you just rather stroke him instead?"

 

[antipodean exile]

• The graduate with a science degree asks, "why does it work?"
• The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "how does it do that?"
• The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "how much does it cost?"
• The American graduate with the Arts degree asks, "do you want fries with that?"

 

[antipodean exile]

• A wife comes home early to find her husband shagging a midget.
• "You promised me you"d wouldn"t cheat on me again!" she screamed.
• "Calm down will you" he replied,
• "Can"t you see i"m trying to cut down..."

 

[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[antipodean exile]

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[Wooperts_duck]

All sorted for Valentine’s Day, she’s going to be like putty in my hands tomorrow when she wakes up.

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[Wooperts_duck]

Hi everyone, can anyone suggest how to stop my dog digging in the garden?

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[Wooperts_duck]

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[Wooperts_duck]

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