I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he’s 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting nearby. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors—green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. Every time the teen looked over, he’d catch my dad still staring. Eventually, the teenager had enough and sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter, old man? Never done anything wild in your life?” Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food to avoid choking on his comeback. I knew he’d have a good one—and, of course, in classic fashion, he didn’t even blink when he replied: “Got drunk once and had a wild night with a parrot. Just wondering if you were my son.”
My pet bear has been suffering from terrible diarrhoea. The vet called me to say he’s a lot better but he’s not out of the woods yet......
I asked this elderly Scottish fella why he was using 2 massive frozen chips as walking sticks. He replied: “They’re McCains!”
