Lidl Supermarkets will be shut on Christmas Day, to give both checkout cashiers time to share with their families.
"Can you get some bleach, washing powder and some shake and vac while you're out?" My wife asked. "Can you not wait until you’ve opened your presents tomorrow?" I replied.
I was in the pub last night and this girl said to me, "Would you like a drink?" I said, "You're a bit forward aren't you?" She said, "I'm the barmaid you Dick"