I asked for lots of salt and vinegar on my fish please log in to view this image and chips please log in to view this image and was presented with this...how rude please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
On Christmas morning I am getting up early to cut the garden hedge. Then later I will be sitting down to Christmas dinner with all the trimmings....
The downside of having a Son who is a Bomb Disposal Technician. It took him Nine Hours to Open his Christmas Presents last year.
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home. 1st kid says "A computer". Teacher replies "That'd be very useful." 2nd kid says "A new lawn mower" and gets a similar response. Little Johnny pops up and says: " At my house we don't need anything." The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something. Little Johnny replies, "Nope I'm sure! When my sister started dating a Scouser, I remember dad saying,"Well, that's the last f...ing thing we need!!!"
I met some chess enthusiasts in a hotel lobby recently. They just kept bragging about how good they were at the game. There's nothing worse than chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Saw my doctor today, he said "What's the problem?" I said "I keep feeling like I'm an ocean" He said, "Can you be more pacific?"
