An Englishman on a walk through the Welsh countryside bumps into a Welsh farmer and they start chatting; Englishman: "That your dog?" please log in to view this image Welshman: "Aye" Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?' Welshman: "It's a dog... It doesn't talk.” please log in to view this image please log in to view this image Englishman: "Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "I'm Doing all right thanks" Welshman: please log in to view this image Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman) Dog: "Yep." Englishman: How's he treating you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play." Welshman: please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Welshman: "Its a horse...it doesn't talk.” please log in to view this image Englishman: "Hey horse how's it going?" Horse: "not too bad, neigh complaints" Welshman: please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman) Horse: "Yep." Englishman: "How's he treating you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather." Welshman: please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" Welshman: "That sheep's a F*CKING LIAR!!!” please log in to view this image
Rooney doesn’t seem to be enjoying his Sunday afternoon at Old Trafford please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
I got chatting with a girl in a bar, "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked. "Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends. ""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please. A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love. While I was putting my clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?" I said, "My wife found out."
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman arrived at a railway station in a state of inebriation just as The train was about to leave. A helpful porter managed to get The Englishman and The Scotsman aboard as The train pulled out. Then he turned to The Irishman and said, 'I'm sorry sir that I couldn't get you aboard The train.' 'My friends will be sorry too,' said The Irishman, 'they just came to see me off.'
My artistic girlfriend likes to draw on my body. When she was sad, I’d give her my shoulder to crayon.
Don't forget winter will soon be upon us and our native birds are finding food scarce. Please go to your local pet shop and buy a mesh feeder and a bag of nuts for our feathered friends. There is no finer sight on a winter's morning than a pair of tits around your nuts. Just remember however, it's a bit too late in the year to expect a swallow.
