Off Topic Jokes thread

Mother, father, and son were having dinner, and the son wouldn't eat his sprouts.
Mother said, "Son, eat your sprouts," but the son refused.
Father leaned over and whispered in the boy's ear.
The boy quickly ate his sprouts and went to his room.
The mother asked, "What did you say to him?"
Father replied, "I told him his willy wouldn't grow any bigger if he didn't eat them!"
The mother slapped the father around the head.
He asked, "What was that for?"
She replied, "For not eating your sprouts when you were a child."

 

I was at a job interview this morning when the manager handed me a laptop and said:
"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So l put it under my arm, left the building and went home.
Eventually he called me and said:
"Bring my laptop back now."
I said: "£300 and it's yours."

 

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Girlfriend asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.

I have, but now I can't read anything.......

 

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