So this woman walks into a butcher's shop just before closing time on Christmas Eve and asks, "Do you have any Turkeys?" The butcher opens his fridge, takes out his only Turkey and puts it on the weighing scales. It weighs 1.5 kg. The woman looks at the Turkey and at the scales and asks, "Do you have one that's a bit bigger than this one, please?" The butcher puts the Turkey back into the fridge and then takes it out again, but this time when he puts it on the scales he craftily keeps his thumb on the scale pan. The scales now show 2 kg. "That's wonderful," says the woman. "I'll take both of them, please!"
The fact that Billy Oceans's "Love Really Hurts Without You" has never been used in an ad campaign for KY Jelly ought to shame the advertising industry.
Just bought her indoors an ice pick, cos when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday she said "A climb axe would make a nice change"
