My mate told me that he once dated a twin. I asked "How could you tell them apart?" He said "Maria painted her nails red, and Tony had a moustache".......
In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm Brut, a huge 86% of Liverpool fans said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower. The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison.....
As I was getting in to bed, she said "Your'e drunk!" I said "How do you know?" She replied "Because you live next door!"......
Greetings Woops - I have a feeling of dread that your cut and paste has once again failed you and you are languishing in a state of total despair - did you try that link I sent you for repair although it did look very convoluted - hang in there mate
I went to the doctors the other day, and he told me I've got hypochondria. I said I'm not surprised, as I've got everything else....
A farmer is sitting in his local pub. His mate from the neighbouring farm walks in and says, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day having drink after drink?” “Some things you just can’t explain,” says the farmer. “What happened that’s so horrible?” “Well, if you must know, I was sitting by my cow milking her this morning and just as I got the bucket about full she took her left leg and kicked it over.” “That’s not so bad. What’s the big deal?” “Some things you just can’t explain,” the farmer says again. “Then what happened?” “I took her left leg and tied it to the post with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her and just as I got the bucket almost full for the second time, she took her right leg and kicked it over,” the farmer explains. “Again? Then what did you do?” “I took her right leg and tied it to the right post. Then I sat back down and continued to milk her and just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.” “Wow, you must have been pretty upset,” the neighbour replies. “Some things you just can’t explain.” “What did you do then?” “Well, I didn’t have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. At that moment my pants fell down and my wife walked in.”
