The state of that Lawn.......
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Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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I've just had a phone call from my mate.
He said...."You won't believe this, I entered a competition last month and I've only gone and won first prize".
I said "That's brilliant...what's the prize"?
He replied..."A week in Ibiza, for me and 3 mates, all inclusive, a 5☆ hotel, with £2,000 spending money....are you free between 20th and 27th of August"?
I said...."Of course I am".
He then said...
"Great.....can you put my wheelie bin out".
He said...."You won't believe this, I entered a competition last month and I've only gone and won first prize".
I said "That's brilliant...what's the prize"?
He replied..."A week in Ibiza, for me and 3 mates, all inclusive, a 5☆ hotel, with £2,000 spending money....are you free between 20th and 27th of August"?
I said...."Of course I am".
He then said...
"Great.....can you put my wheelie bin out".
02080490090 have just cold called me. They wanted to talk to me about my recent car accident, was I hurt they asked ?
Yes, I said. I got a lot of sympathy, and then I was passed to another handler.
They took down all my details, etc, (all false), and then asked about the accident.
I told them how my car was crushed between 2 B double truck's, how the fire fighters cut me out, and the paramedics kept me alive while all this was going on.
The Westpac helicopter landed and flew me to the hospital
They asked how serious my injuries were, all the while they were hearing the cash registers ringing.
I then gravely told them how I lost my legs. Kerching!
The truck company were going to get screwed.
I was then asked if there were any complications.
I explained I died a few days later and my funeral is next Thursday.
Apparently, I'm a time wasting asshole............
Yes, I said. I got a lot of sympathy, and then I was passed to another handler.
They took down all my details, etc, (all false), and then asked about the accident.
I told them how my car was crushed between 2 B double truck's, how the fire fighters cut me out, and the paramedics kept me alive while all this was going on.
The Westpac helicopter landed and flew me to the hospital
They asked how serious my injuries were, all the while they were hearing the cash registers ringing.
I then gravely told them how I lost my legs. Kerching!
The truck company were going to get screwed.
I was then asked if there were any complications.
I explained I died a few days later and my funeral is next Thursday.
Apparently, I'm a time wasting asshole............