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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  2. antipodean exile

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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  4. antipodean exile

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  5. Wooperts_duck

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  6. Wooperts_duck

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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Preacher, arriving in a small town to be guest speaker at a local church, wanted to mail a letter to his family back home.
    However, he didn’t know where the post office was. After looking around for a while, he stopped a young girl on a bike and asked her for directions.
    The 7 year old girl replied, “I can show you the way, follow me.”
    After they had arrived at the post office, the preacher turned to the little girl and said: “Thank you for your help. If you come to church this evening, I’ll tell you about Jesus and how to get to heaven.”
    “Nah, I don’t think so,” answered the girl.
    “Why not?” asked the surprised priest.
    The girl replied, “You don’t even know your way to the post office!”
     
    #26787
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  9. antipodean exile

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  10. antipodean exile

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  11. antipodean exile

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  12. antipodean exile

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  13. antipodean exile

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  14. Wooperts_duck

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  15. Wooperts_duck

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  16. Wooperts_duck

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  17. Wooperts_duck

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  18. Wooperts_duck

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  19. Wooperts_duck

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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    A businessman is getting on a flight when he hears from another
    passenger that the Pope is going to be on the flight.
    ... "WOW, great!" he thinks, being a devout Christian, "What a good place
    to be today."
    Just before the aircraft doors are closed the Pope enters the plane Airplane
    and sits next to him.
    I am surely blessed the man thinks. Here I am, a good Catholic on a
    flight with the Pope sitting next to me.
    The plane takes off and after a few minutes the passengers take off
    their seat belts.
    The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag to take
    out a crossword book. Marvelous, he thinks, not only am I blessed with
    the Pope next to me but he does crosswords and so do I. He notices
    that the Pope is working his way through the puzzle, and that the Pope
    is tapping his pencil.
    The Pope turns to him and says, "I usually don't talk to anyone on
    flights, but I wonder if you can help me?"
    "Anything, your Eminence ... What is it?"
    "Do you know a four letter word that ends in 'u-n-t' that means
    something associated with women?"
    The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says,
    "The only word I can think of is aunt."
    The Pope looks at him and asks, "Do you have an eraser?"
     
    #26800
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