A hunter shoots himself in the genitals with his shotgun. A few hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he's approached by a doctor. "The good news is you're gonna be ok. The bad news is there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage to your penis so I'm gonna have to refer you to my sister. "Is she a plastic surgeon?" asks the hunter. "No." says the doctor, "She's a flute player. She'll teach you where to put your fingers so you don't splash yourself
Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today for a million dollars, and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?" The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably a life sentence."
