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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" "I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere." When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews." "Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.
    " "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but no Chinese Jews!"
     
    #26321
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  3. antipodean exile

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  4. antipodean exile

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  6. antipodean exile

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  9. Wooperts_duck

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  10. Wooperts_duck

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  11. Wooperts_duck

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    Cop: What can you tell me about the guy you saw?

    Me: He was male, Caucasian, moustache about 6'3".

    Cop: Shouldn't be too hard to find a guy with a moustache that big....
     
    #26331
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Ancient Recipe.......

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  13. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I hired a new cleaner from Eastern Europe. She seems great, only it takes her 3 hours to vacuum the living room.

    I'm guessing she must be Slovak
     
    #26340

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