The man who invented 'cats eyes' got the idea when he saw the eyes of a cat reflected in his headlights... If the cat had been going the other way, he would have invented the pencil sharpener!
An old golfer was hitting his ball from near a water hazard and his club fell into the water. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying? The golfer replied that his club had fallen into the water and he needed the club to have a chance to win the tournament and supplement his meagre pension. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked. The golfer replied, "No" The Lord again went down and came up with a silver club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked. Again, the golfer replied, "No". The Lord went down again and came up with an iron club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked. The golfer replied, "Yes". The Lord was pleased with the golfer's honesty and gave him all three clubs to keep, and the golfer went home happy. Sometime later, the golfer was walking with his wife along the water hazard, and she fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my woman has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Kate Upton. "Is this your woman?" the Lord asked? "Yes," cried the golfer. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The golfer replied, "Oh, forgive me Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'No' to Kate Upton, you would have come up with Jennifer Anniston. Then if I said 'No' to her, you would have come up with my woman. Had I then said 'Yes,' you would have given me all three. And Lord, I am an old man not able to take care of all three women in a way that they deserve... that's why I said 'Yes' to Kate Upton. And God was pleased! The moral of this story is: If a golfer ever tells a lie, it is for a good and honourable reason and only out of consideration for others!
