A couple in their 80's were having problems remembering things, so they decided to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen for a drink," he replies. She asks, " Will you get me piece of cake?" The husband says, "Sure." She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you don't forget it?" He says, "No, I can certainly remember that!" Then the woman says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down because I know you'll forget it." The man replies, "I can remember that! You want some cake with strawberries." She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream on top. Now I'm certain you're gonna forget that, so you'd better write it down ok." Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down woman! I can remember that! Cake with strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles into the kitchen. After about 30 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?
A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview. "Looking at your resume, I can see that you're more than qualified", says the interviewer. "Unfortunately, we can't have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can't hire you", adds the interviewer. "But wait", says the man. "If I take two aspirin, I stop winking". "Then show me", replies the interviewer. So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colors before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking. "It's great. You stopped winking", says the interviewer, "but we can't have our salesmen womanizing all over the country". "What do you mean?", asks the man. "I'm happily married". "How do you explain all the condoms?" asks the interviewer. "Oh, that", sighs the man. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"...
