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Off Topic Inner city

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Commachio, Aug 18, 2019.

  1. Oi - I deliberately ignored that <steam>
     
    #121
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  2. Saintmagic

    Saintmagic Well-Known Member

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    My Dad is the opposite of this. He has some irrational hatred of people who use cards to pay for small-ish stuff in shops/supermarkets. Remember as a kid finding it funny hearing him be like "oh FFS" loud enough for everyone to hear when someone whipped their card out to pay for a sandwich or some **** when he was queing up.

    Might have changed now with contactless etc, hopefully not.
     
    #122
  3. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    You can just write a note on the uber and tell the driver not to talk to you. It's a great company tbh<laugh>
     
    #123
  4. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    Whenever we meet that person in the shop or something she always talks in that sympathetic way towards me "hiya, how are YOU doing?" we then piss ourselves laughing when she leaves.
     
    #124
  5. brb

    brb CR250

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    Next time you see them, you should develop a nervous twitch, that should proper freak them out <laugh>
     
    #125
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  6. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    I was gonna say ask her what her insides taste like whilst tearing open a pack of pork chops with his teeth
     
    #126
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  7. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    Used to have a mate in the forces who used to take a piece of paper out with him that read.

    "Excuse me, I am deaf and mute would you be so kind as to ask the barman for a pint of lager for me?"

    He would then show it to some bloke at the bar who would then buy him a beer, now and then if the guy looked a bit soft or was by himself he would walk of and say "Thanks mate!".
     
    #127
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  8. brb

    brb CR250

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    or keep calling her by another name....then when she asks his Mrs why he keeps calling her by the wrong name.....she can reply.....oh yeah, hmmm, awkward, it goes back to his younger days, when he had a close relative who was killed by the local village axeman. Funny actually now you mention it....he did pop in B&Q the other day for an axe, no idea what he wants it for, we don't have any trees.
     
    #128
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  9. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    Only for simpletons ... the whole jest is that their 'top 6 finish' will be in the Championship <doh>
     
    #129
  10. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    Not enough sheep?
     
    #130
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  11. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    You could always let your passengers speak first ...<whistle>
     
    #131
  12. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    Which they spend at least 5 minutes searching through their purse trying to find, then slowly unfold them, before asking the checkout girl " can you read that, I haven't got my glasses?"

    By which point I am fit to be ****ing tied <grr><grr><grr>
     
    #132
  13. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    I guess I've been lucky with these voucher ****s tbh never come across any myself, the reduced section can get a bit hairy about 8pm in my local tesco, if I'm with my bird I'll say "tramps" loudly then go straight over like it wasn't me, she loves when I do that<laugh>
     
    #133
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  14. Big Ern

    Big Ern Lord, Master, Guru & Emperor

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    The implication you've actually made is that they will fail to get top 6 and end up in the play-offs. That might not be what you meant, but that is what you have written.
    Maybe your failure to write what you actually mean explains why much of what you write in jest isn't funny.
     
    #134
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  15. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    :emoticon-0113-sleep
     
    #135

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