Been reading the updates and am relieved to see this. I had a friend who attempted to commit suicide three or four times years ago, only to get her life together and realize that she had every reason to live. Thank goodness she failed in each attempt, because she's happy now, something that once did not seem possible.
Stay strong, Ash; from the sounds, you have a strong support structure, and whatever you've faced, there are people who want to help you. There are people who are invested in your happiness, and with time you and they can find stability. I hope that reaching this point and surviving allows you to find peace. Be well.