Nothing to do with golf but I’ve just been talking to my beautiful polish neighbour, funny thing is my arm was cured until I walked away !!! That woman could cure death !!! Certainly put life back in these old bones….
Off Topic Golf tales
- Thread starter FER ARK
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Gave the game up in frustration when I could never sink the ball on the fifth - you know, where it goes down the fluorescent red funnel and then over the yellow bridge and then goes through the monkeys moving hands into the mouth of the dolphin. Would discuss this back at the 19th over a candyfloss and bottle of pepsi. Don't know how the professionals cope with the pressure.
My only hole-in-one was at a course in Egypt which had a backdrop of the Pyramids. It made the HDM as my pal who I played golf with worked there and we both knew Brian Taylor City's sports writer and they put it in the mail.
It cost me a fortune when I got back to the clubhouse the caddy I was using spouted to everyone what I had done so I had to get the drinks in.
It cost me a fortune when I got back to the clubhouse the caddy I was using spouted to everyone what I had done so I had to get the drinks in.
Once chipped in from approx 100 yards for my mate to point out I’d hit the wrong ball ..
One time at Sutton Park, waiting on the 1st tee. These three Herbert's rock up. One of them says in a loud voice 'we've come all the way from Grimsby,' to which one of the lads replies. 'Fecking hell, what a drive.'
Slightly off topic but does anybody else have problems with fly bites when playing at Sutton Park
Played Friday evening then had to go to out of hours GO on Saturday to get antibiotics as bites were infected and started tracking up my arm to my chest
Played Friday evening then had to go to out of hours GO on Saturday to get antibiotics as bites were infected and started tracking up my arm to my chest
Lost a few balls on the 13th, right dog leg hole, under the trees with the bird **** and feathers. You watch your ball go on there, know exactly where it is, then the ****ing thing disappears as you walk up. I’ve tried yellow balls but still lose the bloody things… well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it, whistle whistle whistle!!!!
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Not played Sutton for a long time, but there's a insect repellent you can buy. I usually use it abroad, the trade name of the one I use is Jungle Formula. Don't see why it won't work here.
Was playing with my Dad and he played an iron on a par 3 at Cave Castle…low and hard…straight into a tree and it shot directly back at him. He moved quicker than I’d ever seen him and just ducked it hitting him in the face.
2nd shot 10 yards behind the tee!
2nd shot 10 yards behind the tee!
When I first started playing golf, my dad came with me to Springhead to walk a few holes. My dad used to play there and was well known, and one of his friends saw us on the first tee and gave us a bag of practice balls. I teed off up the first and was walking up to my ball and was standing waiting for the green to clear, looking into the bag of balls I had just been given.
Ken Harrison City's ex winger in Raich Carter's days was playing the 2nd, he lived just at the back of the 2nd tee and used to go through his fence and start at the 2nd.
Anyhow he came over to us shouting and balling saying we shouldn't be practising on the fairway, which of cause we were not. My father told him to **** off and after some confrontational exchanges, we went on our way.
Ken was notorious for being a right miserable twat, but the next morning my father who got up to go to work at 4 am called his telephone and as soon as he picked it up put it down. He just wanted to the twat out of bed in the middle of the night.
Footnote: Strangely Tony his son and I became good friends, he was a good golfer and we played a lot together, thankfully he was nothing like his father.
Ken Harrison City's ex winger in Raich Carter's days was playing the 2nd, he lived just at the back of the 2nd tee and used to go through his fence and start at the 2nd.
Anyhow he came over to us shouting and balling saying we shouldn't be practising on the fairway, which of cause we were not. My father told him to **** off and after some confrontational exchanges, we went on our way.
Ken was notorious for being a right miserable twat, but the next morning my father who got up to go to work at 4 am called his telephone and as soon as he picked it up put it down. He just wanted to the twat out of bed in the middle of the night.
Footnote: Strangely Tony his son and I became good friends, he was a good golfer and we played a lot together, thankfully he was nothing like his father.
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A Lady golfer drove off the first and about 30 minutes later returned to the clubhouse. The Pro seeing her come back said why are you back so quickly, she said I have been stung by a bee and it was too painful to carry on. The pro asked where were you stung, and she said between the first and 2nd holes. So he said obviously your stance is too wide.
Played one of my early rounds at Springhead with two guys on the dole who got golf every day with some council leisure pass for a couple of quid. We were playing full whack , the lad told us how to play for the first 10 or 11 holes then on the long par 5 tee sliced 5 balls into the ditch , slammed his club on the floor and it snapped - we keeled over laughing and him and his dad stormed off - karma!!! Not etiquette but so times it’s deserved
Myself and DBT had lessons from the pro at Skidby Lakes. The pro actually said to me ‘of course you’ll never hit the ball as far as DBT (probably based on his size)’. Him saying that made it into a bit of a friendly personal challenge.
Recently playing the dog leg 14th at Skidby, we both hit good drives about 230 yards just to the left of perfect position.
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Only ever played golf once, in Mazatlan in Mexico, there was about 8 of us from the ship, we had a beer caddy 
, that was the highlight, I hit one ball sweetly, about 60-70 yards, at this point, I thought I had the knack, took my next shot over a small pond thing, about 20yards, yep, straight in it.I stick to the putting green these days.
I’m sure mine was on the left and we teed off from around 4 o’clock direction, which would make mine longer, though you’re closer to the pin,(appx 1 o’clock). Having said that, I think you went first, which would probably mean your’s is the one on the left, and stopped mine going inches beyond yours?
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den and askew in sporting mode