Off Topic Golf tales
- Thread starter FER ARK
- Start date
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its always a game of two halves
today both were a bit ****!
Two parts but not halves.
The newer part across the road has 5 holes.
Tge “field” Is poor.Previously farm land and not treated properly before the holes were laid.
Hit it straight and you will be OK.
Joe and his 3 mates were on the 9th green which ran along side the nearby main road of the village.
Joe was farthest from the hole, so was setting up to take his put when a funeral cortege started to pass their line of site on the road outside. As it was passing Joe stood to attention for about 4 or 5 minutes until it had passed completely by, then took his put.
Fred, who holed out last said to Joe "That was very respectful old chap, did you know the deceased by any chance?"
Joe's response was "Yes indeed, it was the wife's funeral today."
Joe was farthest from the hole, so was setting up to take his put when a funeral cortege started to pass their line of site on the road outside. As it was passing Joe stood to attention for about 4 or 5 minutes until it had passed completely by, then took his put.
Fred, who holed out last said to Joe "That was very respectful old chap, did you know the deceased by any chance?"
Joe's response was "Yes indeed, it was the wife's funeral today."
Will check that out , at Forest Pines tomorrow played before nice . Done a lot of Northumberland and East Lothian if anyone needs reviews ?
Not played Forest Pines, but Wychwood had fairly wide fairways, but bunkers and other things exactly where you wanted to go to!
Played Forest a few times, Narrow fairways or was I **** at driving that day ?
Anyway next time I went left the woods in the car and had a great round.
It's an easy game if you make the fairways and stop hitting 3 off the tee lol
Anyway next time I went left the woods in the car and had a great round.
It's an easy game if you make the fairways and stop hitting 3 off the tee lol
Once a year we had a firm golf day, and the company secretary would play. He wasn't a very good golfer, but he certainly could cheat. I've never seen anyone blatantly cheat on a golf course like him but he took the biscuit.
A middle-aged woman joins a new Golf Club and goes down the first time to see if she can get a game.
She sees 3 men getting ready to tee off and goes up to them and asks if she can join them.
She said I haven't played for a while but was in the University team, so I am not a bad player.
They reluctantly agree, tee off and she finishes 2 under par and beats them all.
Quite impressed they invite her back the next week. She agrees, but asks if it is okay should she be 15 minutes late?
They reluctantly agreed, and the next week she is there on time and tee off. However this week they notice she is playing left handed whereas the week before she was playing right handed.
Once again she beat them going round in level par and took the money again.
They agreed to play again the following week but at the allotted time she wasn't there and turned up 15 minutes later.
Not happy with her lateness, they teed off and again she took the money and won.
They invited her in for a drink and the conversation came rounds and was asked why she was so good playing both right handed and left handed.
She said that she found out when she was very young that she was ambidextrous, so could play equally well either way.
So one guy asked how do you decide which way to play? She said that it became a habit after she got married, before getting up she would check whether her husband's dick was lying to the right or left and would then play whichever way his dick was lying.
So one guy asked, what happened if it is straight up when you check?
That's why sometimes I'm 15 minutes late.
She sees 3 men getting ready to tee off and goes up to them and asks if she can join them.
She said I haven't played for a while but was in the University team, so I am not a bad player.
They reluctantly agree, tee off and she finishes 2 under par and beats them all.
Quite impressed they invite her back the next week. She agrees, but asks if it is okay should she be 15 minutes late?
They reluctantly agreed, and the next week she is there on time and tee off. However this week they notice she is playing left handed whereas the week before she was playing right handed.
Once again she beat them going round in level par and took the money again.
They agreed to play again the following week but at the allotted time she wasn't there and turned up 15 minutes later.
Not happy with her lateness, they teed off and again she took the money and won.
They invited her in for a drink and the conversation came rounds and was asked why she was so good playing both right handed and left handed.
She said that she found out when she was very young that she was ambidextrous, so could play equally well either way.
So one guy asked how do you decide which way to play? She said that it became a habit after she got married, before getting up she would check whether her husband's dick was lying to the right or left and would then play whichever way his dick was lying.
So one guy asked, what happened if it is straight up when you check?
That's why sometimes I'm 15 minutes late.
