Off Topic General Election
- Thread starter Darren Peacock’s Ponytail
- Start date
-
Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
-
My election mandate following on from Roly's
If you want your knob cut off - go private - no NHS
if you want a dick rather than a fanny - go private - no nhs
if you want bigger tits - go private - no nhs
if you want smaller tits - go private - no nhs
if you want a smaller belly - stop eating - no nhs
if you want a brazillian bum lift - go private - no nhs
if you want big lips - mouth off to some **** in pub - don't go NHS
if you smoke - get private medical insurance - not NHS
Medical practices and Dental practices must be minimum 75% NHS
if you want a bigger house - get a better ****ing job
if you want a faster car - get a better ****ing job
If you don't work - community service - scrounging ****s, 6 months max
If your on benefits more than 6 months - bring back ****ing slavery
if you cant work for disability reasons - bring back ****ing slavery
if your gay - do it behind closed doors
if your bi - do it behind closed doors
if you wear rainbow **** - 1 year in jail - or 5 year community service
if you wear mustard **** - 2 years in jail - or 10 year community service
if you want to be a politician - 5 years in jail - or 25 years community service
if you drive an electric car - 2 years in jail - or 10 year community service
if you drive a hybrid car car - 1 year in jail - or 5 year community service
Government invests in own pharma company to counter prices for NHS
Government legalises cannabis and cocaine to counter prison sentences.
Medical, teaching and dental students must spend minimum 10 years working in public sector before being able to go private.
First houses tax free - every house after 25% tax regardless if privately owned or company owned
Local authority busses - brought back.
National train service - brought back.
National Airline - brought back.
National Utilities - Brought back.
BBC - Scrapped TV Licence.
Minimum working age raised to 70 before state pension paid.
If you want your knob cut off - go private - no NHS
if you want a dick rather than a fanny - go private - no nhs
if you want bigger tits - go private - no nhs
if you want smaller tits - go private - no nhs
if you want a smaller belly - stop eating - no nhs
if you want a brazillian bum lift - go private - no nhs
if you want big lips - mouth off to some **** in pub - don't go NHS
if you smoke - get private medical insurance - not NHS
Medical practices and Dental practices must be minimum 75% NHS
if you want a bigger house - get a better ****ing job
if you want a faster car - get a better ****ing job
If you don't work - community service - scrounging ****s, 6 months max
If your on benefits more than 6 months - bring back ****ing slavery
if you cant work for disability reasons - bring back ****ing slavery
if your gay - do it behind closed doors
if your bi - do it behind closed doors
if you wear rainbow **** - 1 year in jail - or 5 year community service
if you wear mustard **** - 2 years in jail - or 10 year community service
if you want to be a politician - 5 years in jail - or 25 years community service
if you drive an electric car - 2 years in jail - or 10 year community service
if you drive a hybrid car car - 1 year in jail - or 5 year community service
Government invests in own pharma company to counter prices for NHS
Government legalises cannabis and cocaine to counter prison sentences.
Medical, teaching and dental students must spend minimum 10 years working in public sector before being able to go private.
First houses tax free - every house after 25% tax regardless if privately owned or company owned
Local authority busses - brought back.
National train service - brought back.
National Airline - brought back.
National Utilities - Brought back.
BBC - Scrapped TV Licence.
Minimum working age raised to 70 before state pension paid.
Main things they need to sort for me in no particular order:
Energy/utility requirements - can't believe we are bent over a barrel for human necessities and allow the providing companies to raise prices - water for example, where I live, is potentially going to go up 45-91% next year if the company get's their way! Every human on the planet should have access to water at cost price, not being extorted for a living essential. Re-nationalise energy/utilities across the board and make them affordable for everyone. I'd include transport in this such as rail and bus networks to stop the outrageous rises in prices and strikes.
Funding the NHS - it's imperative that everyone has access to the NHS if needed, it needs more funding, more nurses and doctors - personally I'd fund this legalising all drugs and sell through ethical and nationally backed suppliers at 50% tax - all of which goes to the NHS. People should be free to make their own choice as to what they do with their free time - it's no different to smoking ***s (the worst drug in the world) or alcohol but those are the ones they've deemed socially acceptable. You'd cut a lot of crime and it's an entirely new industry to tax and raise money from for the NHS. Granted there may be more use of the NHS as tweakers generally aren't the healthiest of people but people are already using drugs illegally - may as well tax it and put it towards the Health Service. I'd also consider private NHS units to help bring in more money for the general NHS where NHS Staff could work 2/3 shifts a month to earn some extra cash as well for themselves.
Stop the current benefit system and re-start - it's a piss take so many sit around on benefits while not even trying to find work or just knocking out kids to get bigger and better houses. I'd set up state backed jobs like litter picking, pot hole filling, farmhands, creche work and general maintenance jobs for the country you would have to work to receive your benefits - you could be sent on courses to gain qualifications for roles to help you find further employment while on these state mandatory jobs. Disability benefits are essential though but still feel that those on disability would (in the main) want to work if possible in appropriate jobs for their disability e.g. call handlers for emergency services.
Migration - you are welcome as long as you are coming with some form of degree/qualification/skill to actually contribute e.g. nurses/doctors/engineers/scientists etc. Anyone attempting to enter illegally would be sent straight back to their country of origin, no exceptions. Refugee's are a different matter in my mind and if you are genuinely fleeing war you'll be welcomed but put to work in state backed jobs and integration education immediately upon your arrival until you find a job.
Energy/utility requirements - can't believe we are bent over a barrel for human necessities and allow the providing companies to raise prices - water for example, where I live, is potentially going to go up 45-91% next year if the company get's their way! Every human on the planet should have access to water at cost price, not being extorted for a living essential. Re-nationalise energy/utilities across the board and make them affordable for everyone. I'd include transport in this such as rail and bus networks to stop the outrageous rises in prices and strikes.
Funding the NHS - it's imperative that everyone has access to the NHS if needed, it needs more funding, more nurses and doctors - personally I'd fund this legalising all drugs and sell through ethical and nationally backed suppliers at 50% tax - all of which goes to the NHS. People should be free to make their own choice as to what they do with their free time - it's no different to smoking ***s (the worst drug in the world) or alcohol but those are the ones they've deemed socially acceptable. You'd cut a lot of crime and it's an entirely new industry to tax and raise money from for the NHS. Granted there may be more use of the NHS as tweakers generally aren't the healthiest of people but people are already using drugs illegally - may as well tax it and put it towards the Health Service. I'd also consider private NHS units to help bring in more money for the general NHS where NHS Staff could work 2/3 shifts a month to earn some extra cash as well for themselves.
Stop the current benefit system and re-start - it's a piss take so many sit around on benefits while not even trying to find work or just knocking out kids to get bigger and better houses. I'd set up state backed jobs like litter picking, pot hole filling, farmhands, creche work and general maintenance jobs for the country you would have to work to receive your benefits - you could be sent on courses to gain qualifications for roles to help you find further employment while on these state mandatory jobs. Disability benefits are essential though but still feel that those on disability would (in the main) want to work if possible in appropriate jobs for their disability e.g. call handlers for emergency services.
Migration - you are welcome as long as you are coming with some form of degree/qualification/skill to actually contribute e.g. nurses/doctors/engineers/scientists etc. Anyone attempting to enter illegally would be sent straight back to their country of origin, no exceptions. Refugee's are a different matter in my mind and if you are genuinely fleeing war you'll be welcomed but put to work in state backed jobs and integration education immediately upon your arrival until you find a job.
Legalise class A drugs and remove FFP from football. All you need really.
Smoking is terrible for your health, but you really think cigarettes are worse than heroine, crack or crystal meth? What are you smoking? Lol
I guess you mean worse for society (in terms of related health burden on NHS) rather than worse for the individual, but if you are claiming worse for society, you would have to adjust your numbers as your legalisation and easy access plan would result in more addicts for each currently illegal drug, which would make them far more problematic than they currently are on a societal level. They're already far worse on an individual one.
Last edited:
I don't think I've ever heard a pure jock say he remembered any Englishman fondly to be fair.... the claymore rattling, blue face paint, skirt wearing chaps up the country seem to have a bit of a beef with their superior English masters for some reason. Jocks are a bit like the mackems.....chips, shoulders... shadows.....
You must log in or register to see images
Say's the ex Mackem turncoat.
RE Benefits: State backed jobs could be construed as "forced labour".........but you get nothing for free in life. Only suggestion would be to keep them away from kids, with them not wanting to be there i would barely trust them with a discarded crisp packet let alone a baby.
RE Migration: You need a caveat about coming here to gain a qualification. We need to train more Dr's & Nurses etc & if they're willing to learn, i don't care what colour or creed they are when they're saving lives.
From personal point of view I'd prefer to be on smack, at least you get a decent high. Cigarettes just kill you with none of the fun! Fair points though and if you look at Portugal who have legalised possession of drugs since 2001 there are benefits (lower crime and conviction rates) and pit falls - more HIV cases and more drug related deaths but are still generally below the EU averages (as they were before) peaking at 0.75 deaths per 100,000 people but dropping again since the peak in 2001-02 but appear to be on the way back up.
https://transformdrugs.org/blog/drug-decriminalisation-in-portugal-setting-the-record-straight#:~:text=Many impacts of reform were,an upturn in drug deaths.
Migration/Forced labour - absolutely nail on head - it probably is forced labour but if you don't want to work fine, just don't expect someone else to pay your way and enjoy the park benches you sleep on. I think a lot of the benefit mums would only be able to do work with kids - they generally aren't the smartest but they seem to be able to raise numerous children at a time
. State backed creches, with qualified managerial oversight of course, while studying in child care would be attainable for them - but there are plenty who probably wouldn't be able to either, it's about finding work for those that need it, suited to their needs.Migration - personally I wouldn't allow people in who aren't already qualified, what do you do with them while they are studying? Free accommodation and benefits, not for me.
I could follow this manifesto 100%.
You’re in the wrong job. You should be a politician.
I could change my name to Judy Judge GGjudy get a room with him mate. Tents are only £2 in Ashganistan
Well I am a bit scotch
Probably the "making home brew an gerrin pìssed on it".
Although I do eat a decent balanced diet
Apparently there was a bloke rowing up the tyne singing "old man river".
An alien space ship passing over decided to remove a quarter of his brain for analysis.
Amazed at the fact he was still singing 'old man river"
having had a quarter of his brain removed, they took another quarter.Half a brain and he's still rowing and singing "old man river"
So they removed all of the remaining brain.
"The fog on the Tyne is all mine all mine, toon toon" .
Although I do eat a decent balanced diet
Dead vermin and your sister's crack?
