Favourite Similes

[lone ranger]

like throwing a sleeping bag in the back of a lorry

 

[BolloBollo]

if someone cannie get it up "it was like playing snooker with a rope"

 

[lone ranger]

like ****ing a bucket of kfc

never really understood exactly what he meant by this

 

[VenomPD]

if someone cannie get it up "it was like playing snooker with a rope"

fanny like a gutted Ewok

Bollo, you've had the two best ones now. You win the Similes competition

 

[Camel]

like flinging a sausage up an alley...

 

[Frank The Tank]

"Her minge was a mess, it looked like a dropped Calzone."

Frank The Tank, after getting desperate on his birthday in Vegas and pumping a howler.

Over heard this one out drinking in Denny.

She's got a face like a carpet fitter's kneecap.

 

[VenomPD]

"Her minge was a mess, it looked like a dropped Calzone."

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Another Belter

 

[Frank The Tank]

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Another Belter

And so was she. Although with the beer goggles on I thought she was a darling. I remember being sat at the pool steaming from the night before then having to retire to my room. Next thing I knew my mate came up and said, "I've just pumped that bird that was cutting about near us!"

Both of us agreed she was gorgeous then a couple of days later he gets a tap on the shoulder and this horrendous looking thing made him ****e himself.

I started pishing myself laughing but done what good friends do by stepping in and pumping her myself

She was only 17 as well which is underage in America.

 

[wizgub]

And so was she. Although with the beer goggles on I thought she was a darling. I remember being sat at the pool steaming from the night before then having to retire to my room. Next thing I knew my mate came up and said, "I've just pumped that bird that was cutting about near us!"

Both of us agreed she was gorgeous then a couple of days later he gets a tap on the shoulder and this horrendous looking thing made him ****e himself.

I started pishing myself laughing but done what good friends do by stepping in and pumping her myself

She was only 17 as well which is underage in America.

should have spitroasted her and shown no mercy

 

[VenomPD]

Ugly birds should take whatever cock they are given and like it.

 

[TN8]

Minge like a drapped macaroni pie.

Like flingin a shoe up a close.

I'd leave her lookin like an explosion in a tippex factory.

 

[RDW1]

Not really a proper similie, but my mate once said, "Look at the ****er on her, it's like a eeehhh, really good arse".
Right enough it was good.

 

[Frank The Tank]

Ugly birds should take whatever cock they are given and like it.

Apparently she was a virgin until Gary nailed her. Thing is though, she had lube and johnnies in her drawer and was saying how she's really tight and wanted me to lube her up. I didnt enjoy that at all, if she wanted me to muff her I would have just left. Worst minge I've ever seen, I remember looking at it and thinking thank **** am no barebacking that thing.