Off Topic Downing tools

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askewshair

askewshair

Well-Known Member
Jan 28, 2011
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I half listened to ITV Champions League, Roy Keane and Lee Dixon(?) talked about Chelsea players downing tools this year. I'm sure I have seen many players who have 'hidden', but not sure anyone has downed tools?
I don't think in front of a 50.000 witnessing crowd anyone would professionally risk this? We are talking about players on say (**** knows) £50k to £300k pw.

So apart from a few of us, we dont earn that money. I follow Maslow's theory in that most people want to work, Two questions;
  1. any extreme examples of footballers taking the piss
  2. our more mundane professions, do we have any comic examples of people 'downing tools'?
 
askewshair said:
I half listened to ITV Champions League, Roy Keane and Lee Dixon(?) talked about Chelsea players downing tools this year. I'm sure I have seen many players who have 'hidden', but not sure anyone has downed tools?
I don't think in front of a 50.000 witnessing crowd anyone would professionally risk this? We are talking about players on say (**** knows) £50k to £300k pw.

So apart from a few of us, we dont earn that money. I follow Maslow's theory in that most people want to work, Two questions;
  1. any extreme examples of footballers taking the piss
  2. our more mundane professions, do we have any comic examples of people 'downing tools'?
Click to expand...
There's the odd case of Brewer's Droop in the porn industry I hear, but it usually recovers & rises to the occasion.

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I remember a game in which Jimmy Bullshit was a disgrace. Can’t recall the opposition but it was at home and whenever we went into the opposition half he just wandered around aimlessly in the left back position. I watched him in isolation for a good 20 mins and it was an appalling show that demonstrated exactly how he felt at the time.

It was bizarre in that it got little to no attention.

I also remember an off-pitch incident of Stuart Green celebrating an opposition goal when he was on the bench and pissed off at being dropped.
 
Not so much downing tools, but more doing exactly as you was told.

When i worked at the Nappy factory across the river from Hull, one day in the morning maintenance meeting we had the Maintenance manager come in and give it to everyone on the state of the workshop, and everyone should be ashamed of themselves that it had got into such a state with so much rubbish and spare parts cluttering all of the work benches. he then proceeded to tell us to get in there and clean it up before we did anything else that day, and get all the crap thrown in the skips before they come to take it all away later in the day. So we all went out and did exactly that.
Everything went in the bin, spares that were being built into rebuilds, parts that were ready for jobs, everything (Apart from anything that was really important and needed for a guvvy !). When we had finished the workshop was really clean.
Only problem was we had a major down a few days later where a lot of parts would be getting replaced to keep it going. Strangely enough there were no parts ready for it and when the same manager had a meeting to find out why there was nothing ready, he quickly found out that everyone had done just as he requested a few days previous and lol the parts had been, as requested, thrown away ......

Strangely enough he didnt rant and rave ever again....
 
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BrisbaneTiger said:
Not so much downing tools, but more doing exactly as you was told.

When i worked at the Nappy factory across the river from Hull, one day in the morning maintenance meeting we had the Maintenance manager come in and give it to everyone on the state of the workshop, and everyone should be ashamed of themselves that it had got into such a state with so much rubbish and spare parts cluttering all of the work benches. he then proceeded to tell us to get in there and clean it up before we did anything else that day, and get all the crap thrown in the skips before they come to take it all away later in the day. So we all went out and did exactly that.
Everything went in the bin, spares that were being built into rebuilds, parts that were ready for jobs, everything (Apart from anything that was really important and needed for a guvvy !). When we had finished the workshop was really clean.
Only problem was we had a major down a few days later where a lot of parts would be getting replaced to keep it going. Strangely enough there were no parts ready for it and when the same manager had a meeting to find out why there was nothing ready, he quickly found out that everyone had done just as he requested a few days previous and lol the parts had been, as requested, thrown away ......

Strangely enough he didnt rant and rave ever again....
Click to expand...

In the Army we had some forklifts that were so big that the driver needed to be guided in. We had large ships stores to load and I was assigned to guide the forklift. The trick was to sit by the cabin of the forklift and lean forward when the forks got close and shout.

The troop corporal was a right twat and he gave me a bollocking in front of the rest of the troop. He dragged me to a spot in the loading area and ordered me to guide the forklift from there.

2 hours later he came back and I was still stood there, shouting and waving as the forklift was wrecking the boxes 50 yards away. Our troop commander walked past and asked what was going on and after listening to the corporal he said, “Why isn’t he sat next to the driver, like we normally do it?”

That night, I got beaten so bad, I had to spend 3 days on sick parade. The corporal got transferred.

About a year later, I was in Belfast, supervising the unloading of Sir Galahad, I was the topman and was at the hatch combings on the top deck. Who should I see in the hold below, but this twat, of a corporal, bulled up to the nines, with creases in his combats. It’s odd how people react to a very loud noise like a ten tonne shackle falling accidentally into a metal hold, when in somewhere like Belfast. I had never seen someone actually **** themselves before.
 
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