True. But at least I can count mine on my fingers and have a finger or two spare.
Off Topic Cyclists
- Thread starter Dorty Dogbreath
- Start date
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****in hell JRL…!
I think you need some oat milk in your coffee
Have to admit I agree with a lot of your points, but would never have time to write them down
I think you need some oat milk in your coffee
Have to admit I agree with a lot of your points, but would never have time to write them down
If we're getting onto general driving then there are so many things I see loads of that make me wonder how some people are ever allowed on the roads. I don't get pissed off anymore like I used to when I was younger. I just shake my head and get on with my journey. Getting pissed off won't get me there any quicker, and won't spoil anyone's day apart from my own. I just comfort myself with the knowledge that one day the deepest and darkest parts of Hell are reserved for these people, which will be a shock to them as most of them probably consider themselves excellent drivers who are always in the right.
I'd like to think I am a considerate and understanding person, so therefore my list of pet hates isn't unduly long or unreasonable....
1. People who use their phones while driving. There are still loads of the ****ers out there and there is no excuse for it in this day and age. Not ever! When I am in one of the company flatbeds you can usually see inside other cars and loads of the ****ers have their phones on their knee and think nobody can see them. The ignorant bastards spend more time looking down at their phone than they do watching the road ahead.
2. ****s who drive in the middle lane of a three lane motorway when they don't need to. There are three different types of these ****s and all three types deserve to be handed over to Ramsey Bolton to be skinned alive and hung from motorway bridges as a deterrent to other motorway ****s who are considering joining this ****ish group!
3. Dual Carriageway outside lane hoggers. Very similar to the middle lane hoggers who think they aren't middle lane hoggers. Why the **** don't they pull in and then back out again when there is room and time to do so? Instead you end up with a miles long queue of single traffic in the outside lane of the dual carriageway or 2 lane motorway. For some reason these twats are drawn to the A1(M) like moths to a flame.
- The oblivious middle lane hogger. These people pull straight into the middle lane because they think they are too good for the 'slow lane' and don't care how much it slows down the traffic flow. The worst of them drive at a slow speed oblivious to the fact that it causes tailbacks behind them and reduces a three lane motorway to a two lane dual carriageway. They force people to swerve around them or risk breaking the law by undertaking. It's worse still for larger vehicles that are not allowed to overtake them because they aren't allowed in the outside lane of a motorway
- The ****s who think they aren't middle lane hoggers because they do sometimes use the inside lane, but stay out in the middle lane when they can see an articulated lorry three miles in the distance and know they will eventually catch it. There's plenty of time to pull in and pull back out again and let other vehicles past you ****s!
- The **** driver middle lane hoggers. These ****s ONLY live in the middle lane. They come flying past you at 80 or 90mph when you are in the inside lane. Then for some inexplicable reason when they come up against a slow car or lorry overtaking a slower car or lorry, they stay in the middle lane and slow down, even though the outside lane is empty. Then when you inevitably catch them up you pull into the outside lane to overtake them as you are doing 70. Then when the other vehicle pulls in again they speed up, leaving you stranded in the outside lane - particularly when your vehicle is limited to 70mph. Utter twats! They also don't let indicating vehicles out of the inside lane, even though the lane is empty outside of them, causing you to slow down and lose your momentum. They have no clue that not letting vehicles pull out is bad driving and that they have a responsibility to aid the traffic flow.
4. ****s who hog the 3rd lane of a 4 lane motorway. Very similar to middle lane hoggers only more ****ish.
5. The utter dickheads who won't let a car out of the inside lane to overtake a slower vehicle. This is why so many drivers end up in the ****ish middle lane hogger group, as they have had too many bad experiences of not being allowed back out. It doesn't excuse the lane hoggers, but these dickheads need to share a good bit of the blame.
6. The utter bastards who won't merge or who allow minor problems to become major problems because the claim they have 'right of way'. No you don't you utter bellend! The only thing right of way applies to on a road is everyone's right to travel down the ****er. What you have is priority. This means that in a 50/50 situation you have priority in claiming the lane, but it doesn't negate your responsibility to merge and aid the traffic flow. Stop being ****s.
7. Youtube dashboard cammers. A strange breed of people who enjoy posting videos that they think show other people's driving faults, but 90% of the time show their own lack of awareness and ability to escalate problems. They invariably have an over attachment to their car horns too. They were probably bullied at school.
8. Self appointed police who take the lane in the lead up to roadworks and stop any vehicles using that lane beyond them. As hard as it is to believe, planners spend hours working out where to put those cones and they want you to use all of the lanes until the cones start to close the lane. Failure to do this causes congestion to back up further and causes problems at junctions further back on the road, thus creating more delays than necessary. These people always wanted to be in the police but were probably rejected for having too many O-levels.
9. Dickheads who sound their horns or flash their lights when you are in an overtaking lane but not going as fast as them. As long as you are going faster than the vehicle in front of you then you have a right to overtake, unless you are using the outside lane when prohibited.
10. Lorries that ignore the no overtaking signs on the A1(M) between 7am and 7pm
11. Dickheads who don't dip their headlights
12. Arseholes who think they are only close enough behind you when they can read the label sticking out of your t-shirt.
13. Taxi Drivers. Just in general. ****s!
14. Bastards who ignore red lights. Especially temporary ones.
15. ****s who don't slow down in roadworks. These bastards should be made to stand at the edge of a road with cars passing by them just 1.2 metres away at 70 or 80mph for hours on end, while also trying to do whatever job they have.
16. People who get impatient when you let a car out of a side road and beep their horn at you. Nothing is more likely to make me light a cigarette, sit back and let every ****er out of that side street.
17. People who moan about cyclists being on the road
There are more, but I didn't want this to be too long a post !!!
After seeming like I was on the same page earlier, I'd just like to distance myself from this whinging ****
After seeming like I was on the same page earlier, I'd just like to distance myself from this whinging ****
You've got to let it out! It's cathartic!!
Keep the roads safe and ban cars.
Dozy arrogant drivers responsible for countless deaths due to their impatience.
Dozy arrogant drivers responsible for countless deaths due to their impatience.
Cyclists are asking for it mind... The roads are dangerous and they're using them for leisure.
I certainly wouldn't do it because it's far too dangerous.
100%. Too many clowns being allowed at the wheel of a killing machine.
They should introduce a tax for every time you use your car over a certain amount for anything but business.
Some people are just lazy dick heads too. I walked to Greggs for a coffee the other day. I got there and there is my mate in the queue. He lives a stones throw from this place, about 20 times less than the distance I just walked. He is overweight and badly needs exercise. When we get outside he's only got the car. To travel about 200 yards.
Stop using your car for every little journey, clogging the roads and polluting the air.
Walk or dare I say it, buy a bike
100%. Too many clowns being allowed at the wheel of a killing machine.
They should introduce a tax for every time you use your car over a certain amount for anything but business.
Some people are just lazy dick heads too. I walked to Greggs for a coffee the other day. I got there and there is my mate in the queue. He lives a stones throw from this place, about 20 times less than the distance I just walked. He is overweight and badly needs exercise. When we get outside he's only got the car. To travel about 200 yards.
Stop using your car for every little journey, clogging the roads and polluting the air.
Walk or dare I say it, buy a bike
Whinging ****!
Roads are only dangerous because of dick heads behind the wheel. big believer is dealing with the issue rather than deflecting. Therefore its the drivers who are asking for these problems and we need to start removing body parts for regular offenders. I'm right behind some dystopian world where a guy in a room physically harms drivers via pushing a button when they make a dick of themselves. So you know, not signaling, electric shock. Cutting me up like a cock, you get 2 months of impotence. So on and so forth.
I feel sorry for vaginas. We all use **** in the negative. Makes it seem like fannies are bad when actually they are pretty cool.
I disagree mate driving is dangerous full stop.. Idiots make it worse, but no idiots and its still highly dangerous.
Cyclists are idiots imo
Being a BMW driving, cyclist, Sunderland supporter, you can all fùck off.
Being a scooterist I'll let you off.
Only a bit mind.
There's a closed section of the old A1 near Catterick. It's still a road, just without any idiots on it. Not been an accident on it in years!
No it's the fact moving at speeds from 20-70m mph in an object that weighs at least one tonne is highly dangerous.
Not everyone thats died on the roads was an idiot. They might have made a mistake and sadly died.