Coronavirus

[O'l Gravy Leg]

I guess we're gonna need lots of single use plastic items

 

[O'l Gravy Leg]

My sister in law works in Subway. Her branch closed yesterday. She got an industrial pack of bog roll

Funny thing is the dumb fck who owns it realised he shouldn't have closed and reopened this morning.

She's keeping the bog roll.

One of these in each bathroom, pretty standard here so no bog roll panic and its not unpleasant when the water is about 35 degrees

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[Hoddle is a god]

People are a problem

Maybe COVID is the Planet’s way of saying **** you to humans

In which case I agree

See, if I wrote that, Stan’s head would have exploded.

 

[Hoddle is a god]

Another plus side is I'm no longer listening to Talk Sport.

Those bastards don’t know what to do with themselves.

 

[Hoddle is a god]

My wife has noticed how down I’m feeling without any football matches in my life, so she asked me whether I love football or her the most, I said “open your legs and I’ll show you” .....
So I nutmegged her

Yeah, but that’s not love, mate. That’s lust.

I hope that you made that clear to her, yeah?

 

[Number 1 Jasper]

At least you get some proper family time - so many people going to just be sat indoors bored as ****! Lots of mother’s not going to get mother’s day this year!

My mum is .

I am Picking her up , bringing her here , having lunch then taking her home again .

No way on this planet am I letting my Mum be alone esp NOW !

My Sisters and brother are in agreement .

 

[Number 1 Jasper]

See, if I wrote that, Stan’s head would have exploded.

Self Pity alert !

 

[brb]

Costco all for panic buying then?

Or are they checking who’s coming back again? I’m sure they can find out what with everyone having a membership

I certainly think there is some lessons to be learned from this in the future. Most people these days have some form of points reward card, some people will have also shopped online in the past, hence a lot of these schemes need name and address verifications, especially if it involves any purchases of alcohol. Maybe the way forward is for everyone to be registered via their shopping preferences, and control their shopping habits in time of crisis via the data received on the card, no card = no food (with exemptions). I know if I shop at Morrisons i can look on my phone and see every transaction. Once people have used their weekly allowance their told to fook off. Because I know damn well the people clearing the shelves are going to more than one supermarket, they must have their own mini marts set up for christ sake.

 

[Stan]

A mate of mine has suggested a bunch of us make home brew so we can have a post-virus home brew taste off. I've got all the kit so just ordered some golden ale ingredients. The brewery has the same name as our local hospital which I thought was appropriate.

 

[Star of David Bardsley]

A mate of mine has suggested a bunch of us make home brew so we can have a post-virus home brew taste off. I've got all the kit so just ordered some golden ale ingredients. The brewery has the same name as our local hospital which I thought was appropriate.

Because that’s where you’ll end up after trying it?

 

[Stan]

Because that’s where you’ll end up after trying it?

Possibly

 

[Archers Road]

There's some lovely bacon in the firdge that keeps catching my eye, thick cut slices, so tempting, back I must resist temptation and use perishable stuff up first

I have some back rashers, vacuum packed in plastic. I'm assuming they'll last forever like that?

 

[Looney Leftie]

Three hours of gardening to keep busy and now a whole afternoon with no football.

Weekends are going to be a struggle

 

[brb]

I have some back rashers, vacuum packed in plastic. I'm assuming they'll last forever like that?

Depends if it has a use by or best before date. Probably at a guess the former, so no, but you can freeze it to extend it's life.

 

[Archers Road]

Depends if it has a use by or best before date. Probably at a guess the former, so no, but you can freeze it to extend it's life.

I've just looked. Use by date was yesterday. Going in tonight's veggie stew (won't really be a veggie stew now obviously).

 

[brb]

Hundreds of years from now I can just see the history books; The black death known as the coronavirus or pneumonnia, less commonly known as the flu, get over it! It was one of the most pandemic virus' known to infect humans. The early symptoms of the virus turned people into Zombies that made them seek out their voracious appetite for pasta. Victims became delirious and thought their only chance of survival was by buying up vast amounts of bog roll. They stripped the shelves bare in their quest for shhite paper... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Death

 

[Number 1 Jasper]

Hundreds of years from now I can just see the history books; The black death known as the coronavirus or pneumonnia, less commonly known as the flu, get over it! It was one of the most pandemic virus' known to infect humans. The early symptoms of the virus turned people into Zombies that made them seek out their voracious appetite for pasta. Victims became delirious and thought their only chance of survival was by buying up vast amounts of bog roll. They stripped the shelves bare in their quest for shhite paper... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Death

 

[Treble]

One of these in each bathroom, pretty standard here so no bog roll panic and its not unpleasant when the water is about 35 degrees

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Where are you? Middle east?

 

[FosseFilberto]

Where are you? Middle east?

Peterborough?

 

[Stan]

Was on hold for 45 minutes but finally got through to cancel BT Sport. Sky Sports let you pause your subscription online. Presumably BT hope that folk will just give up waiting.