Off Topic Compare the cheese to no 10 thread
- Thread starter Red Hadron Collider
- Start date
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Female singer on in the Cheese yesterday afternoon. Crap singer, but what a ****ing body
Did you offer to duet with her?
No. Her dad was 'minding' her and he was about 6 foot 6 and built like a brick ****house
No. Her dad was 'minding' her and he was about 6 foot 6 and built like a brick ****house
You could have asked him to "hold your coat" whilst you dueted with said daughter
Female singer on in the Cheese yesterday afternoon. Crap singer, but what a ****ing body
That's always the most important in a female singer.
Happy feckin cheezmas one and all ...
Twas the night before crimbo, when all through the public house
Came the cries of the alkies, off their faces on Carling and Famous Grouse;
The stockings were stuffed with knock off clobber and crumpled up brewery questionnaires,
And at the bar some guy was talking to an empty stool, to a Santa who wasn't even there;
The children were out causing mayhem on the estate
Where talk of joyrides and drugs was the main debate;
And the unit in her dirty sweats, and I with my bad back,
Were at each others' throats again so off I ****ed to the cheeze, down the track,
That broken gate was still not fixed and making a clatter,
But I calmed myself down with thoughts of Gina and Julie's fanny batter.
Down to that ****hole I dragged myself like a snail,
Checked who was in through the window before ordering a pint of my favourite mass produced ale.
No way I'm doing all of this !!
Twas the night before crimbo, when all through the public house
Came the cries of the alkies, off their faces on Carling and Famous Grouse;
The stockings were stuffed with knock off clobber and crumpled up brewery questionnaires,
And at the bar some guy was talking to an empty stool, to a Santa who wasn't even there;
The children were out causing mayhem on the estate
Where talk of joyrides and drugs was the main debate;
And the unit in her dirty sweats, and I with my bad back,
Were at each others' throats again so off I ****ed to the cheeze, down the track,
That broken gate was still not fixed and making a clatter,
But I calmed myself down with thoughts of Gina and Julie's fanny batter.
Down to that ****hole I dragged myself like a snail,
Checked who was in through the window before ordering a pint of my favourite mass produced ale.
No way I'm doing all of this !!
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'twas the night before Xmas with Carling in glass,
I fell down the stairs and busted my ass.
Was ****faced, as ****faced, a fella could be,
Cracked both my hips, and shattered my knee.
High viz Ron, with his vest oh so bright,
Drove me to hospital that cold winters night.
In a combine harvester stolen near ' pub,
With one hand on my crotch he gave me a rub.
As we drove down the street, 70 hours per mile,
He turned to the cheesers and gave them a smile.
slowly we then progressed far out of sight,
he yelled 'merry Xmas and to all a good night.'
I fell down the stairs and busted my ass.
Was ****faced, as ****faced, a fella could be,
Cracked both my hips, and shattered my knee.
High viz Ron, with his vest oh so bright,
Drove me to hospital that cold winters night.
In a combine harvester stolen near ' pub,
With one hand on my crotch he gave me a rub.
As we drove down the street, 70 hours per mile,
He turned to the cheesers and gave them a smile.
slowly we then progressed far out of sight,
he yelled 'merry Xmas and to all a good night.'
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I see cannabis is being legalised in California. The Independent Republic of the Cheese will soon follow suit 
Haven't had the time yet. It's actually pretty busy in work. I did see Gina over the festive period, but you've had all the descriptors for that already. Just variations on a theme
Haven't had the time yet. It's actually pretty busy in work. I did see Gina over the festive period, but you've had all the descriptors for that already. Just variations on a theme
How deep is your love ??
Haven't had the time yet. It's actually pretty busy in work. I did see Gina over the festive period, but you've had all the descriptors for that already. Just variations on a theme
Are you healed enough for that then? Or did the plaster casts add to the fantasy for her?
Plaster casts??
There was no plaster cast. My hip is absolutely fine. I can't even tell I've had an operation on it, apart from my legs being the same length again