Happy feckin cheezmas one and all ... Twas the night before crimbo, when all through the public house Came the cries of the alkies, off their faces on Carling and Famous Grouse; The stockings were stuffed with knock off clobber and crumpled up brewery questionnaires, And at the bar some guy was talking to an empty stool, to a Santa who wasn't even there; The children were out causing mayhem on the estate Where talk of joyrides and drugs was the main debate; And the unit in her dirty sweats, and I with my bad back, Were at each others' throats again so off I ****ed to the cheeze, down the track, That broken gate was still not fixed and making a clatter, But I calmed myself down with thoughts of Gina and Julie's fanny batter. Down to that ****hole I dragged myself like a snail, Checked who was in through the window before ordering a pint of my favourite mass produced ale. No way I'm doing all of this !!
'twas the night before Xmas with Carling in glass, I fell down the stairs and busted my ass. Was ****faced, as ****faced, a fella could be, Cracked both my hips, and shattered my knee. High viz Ron, with his vest oh so bright, Drove me to hospital that cold winters night. In a combine harvester stolen near ' pub, With one hand on my crotch he gave me a rub. As we drove down the street, 70 hours per mile, He turned to the cheesers and gave them a smile. slowly we then progressed far out of sight, he yelled 'merry Xmas and to all a good night.'
I see cannabis is being legalised in California. The Independent Republic of the Cheese will soon follow suit
Haven't had the time yet. It's actually pretty busy in work. I did see Gina over the festive period, but you've had all the descriptors for that already. Just variations on a theme
Plaster casts?? There was no plaster cast. My hip is absolutely fine. I can't even tell I've had an operation on it, apart from my legs being the same length again
