Off Topic Chicken Salad

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I was hosting a fancy dress party once when there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find a brunette, naked but for a pair of black gloves and a pair of black socks.

Apparently she'd come as the Five of Spades.
 
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Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his p*nis. Lady asks, "What are you?" He says, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar," says the woman. He says, "Exactly, in an emergency, break glass." Pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I can!"
 
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Tramore Ranger said:
There you go Totally, changed for you.

BTW we can add beverage of choice to this....currently quaffing a glass or 3 of Picpoul De Pinet......think Sauvignon Blanc without the Cats Pee....
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That is a nice wine Tramore and not too pricey over here (C$16.00). My wife is Acadian French (lots of Irish in there too) and her family name is Pinet, that's why I initially chose that wine (when serving could tease guests with, "from the family vineyard").

On the subject of cats pee as a boy when we lived in UK we used to make wine as a family activity, gathering various berries on family walks. I recall the Elder bushes being notable in that you produced a deep red, quite tannic wine from the elder berries, but also a white wine from the elder flowers, which seemed to have a rather disturbing cat pee odour.
 
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YOUVE SABOTAGED MY THREAD IS IT COZ IM not a good poster like 999 or the OTHER ONE who mocks me YOU NOT EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT CUCUMBER OR EVEN ANY JOKES ABOUT CUCUMBER IM NOT POSTING ON THIS ANYMORE AND STARTING ANOTHER THREAD ABOUT jet AND warnock because They ARE WHATS WRONG WITH THIS CLUB
 
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Totallyqpr said:
YOUVE SABOTAGED MY THREAD IS IT COZ IM not a good poster like 999 or the OTHER ONE who mocks me YOU NOT EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT CUCUMBER OR EVEN ANY JOKES ABOUT CUCUMBER IM NOT POSTING ON THIS ANYMORE AND STARTING ANOTHER THREAD ABOUT jet AND warnock because They ARE WHATS WRONG WITH THIS CLUB
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A spinster goes into the greengrocers and asks for a cucumber. The greengrocer asks if she wants it sliced to which the spinster replies,"what do you think I am, a ****ing slot machine?"
 
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One day two cucumbers were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured cucumber called 999 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured cucumber was taken to A&E and then rushed into surgery. After a long and agonising wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured cucumber, "I have good news, and I have bad news: we've managed to save your friend's life, but he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."
 
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Uber_Hoop said:
One day two cucumbers were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured cucumber called 999 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured cucumber was taken to A&E and then rushed into surgery. After a long and agonising wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured cucumber, "I have good news, and I have bad news: we've managed to save your friend's life, but he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."
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Cucumber is a fruit. Poor research.
 
I'm none the wiser after Wiki...

Cucumber (Cucumis sativus) is a widely cultivated plant in the gourd family, Cucurbitaceae. It is a creeping vine that bears cylindrical fruits that are used as culinary vegetables. There are three main varieties of cucumber: slicing, pickling, and burpless. Within these varieties, several different cultivarshave emerged. The cucumber is originally from Southern Asia, but now grows on most continents. Many different varieties are traded on the global market. In North America, the term "wild cucumber" can refer to plants in the genera Echinocystis and Marah, but these are not closely related.
 
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