I know that some of you on here are capitalist lackeys so I thought you should take this test set by Deborah Ross from yesterday's Times.
This week Boris Johnson failed an IQ test; last week he said inequality is inevitable as some people are too stupid to get on in life and will always be poor, while the rich are rich because they are smart. True? Below is my definitive IQ test for rich people, to measure just how clever they are, and how much they actually know.
1. If Tamara Ecclestone lives in a £45 million 55-roomed mansion in Kensington, she must have been spotted as super-intelligent at some point in her life, and the same for Kim Kardashian, who is such an intellectual she has to take her brain everywhere by private jet.
True ☐ False ☐
2. If a painter, engraver and poet â William Blake, say â were to die penniless, this would prove heâd been a major thicko all along.
True ☐ False ☐
3. If Jane, who works two jobs, and managed just about OK until the child benefit freeze and the price of everything went through the roof, has only £22 to last to the end of the month but needs £72 if her kids are to eat, then sheâs a massive chump for getting herself into such a pickle.
True ☐ False ☐
4. If the gap between the rich and poor in the UK has widened to the extent that it is now visible from space (sit on that, Great Wall of China!) then the rich must simply be getting cleverer while the poor must be getting thicker.
True ☐ False ☐
5. If a Conservative peer â Baroness Rawlings, for example, who lives in a 13-bedroom, 12-bathroom hall in Norfolk â says that everyone can reduce their heating bills by employing electric blankets and bed socks she is dispensing sage, considered and invaluable advice, and isnât so out of touch with the real world that sheâll next be saying you can insulate your loft with spare tenners, and your butler can make an excellent draught excluder, if he agrees to lie flat against the door.
True ☐ False ☐
6. If Gary has Parkinsonâs and Mary has a terminal illness and they both feel demonised by a disability benefit process that involves treating all applicants as frauds and requiring they fill in a 55-page form with no guarantees of any assistance anyhow, thatâs OK, because they are probably running marathons behind our backs, climbing mountains, and skiing in the Alps.
True ☐ False ☐
7. If many people are moving out of London because they can no longer afford the rent, and many others arenât coming because they also canât afford the rent, then London must now be the cleverest capital city in the world.
True ☐ False ☐
8. If the intention of the âbedroom taxâ is to encourage people to move to smaller properties, but such properties donât exist, thereby trapping them in houses they can no longer afford and plunging them into debt for the first time in their lives, instead of feeling worried, depressed and distraught, they need to reflect on what it must be like to keep an entire estate going, as well as the safari park.
True ☐ False ☐
9. If we accept that the Royal Family and the entire cast of Made In Chelsea must be especially clever in some way, and possibly geniuses, then we must also accept that the Duke of Westminster, who was born clever, suddenly became a lot cleverer after his father died.
True ☐ False ☐
If you ticked âtrueâ to all the above, congratulations, you are so rich and clever you donât know the first thing about anything, which sounds about right, and just so you know: a pint of milk is about 50p. However, if you answered mostly with âfalseâ then Iâm afraid I have some rather sad news for you: your local library is about to close but, as you struggle to read anyhow, what was ever the point?
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