Bedtime Stories

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CCC

CCC

Poet Laureate
Jul 12, 2011
5,340
98
48
Nottingham (currently)
Last night I was in bed with a right evil little tart . . .





. . . It was a wasp, and the little bitch stung me! <grr> :emoticon-0121-angry :emoticon-0146-punch :emoticon-0181-fubar






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Needless to say, I was more than slightly put out. So . . . I squashed it flat with a book, wrapped it in toilet paper and flushed the stripey little slut down the loo!

I just thought this was a strange occurrence as I haven't been stung by wasp since I was a kid* and it's not the sort of thing you expect when you're in bed.


Anyone one else had peculiar or unexpected things happen to them in bed? :confused: <whistle>










*Didn't hurt as much as I remembered, TBH. Nettle stings are far worse. <ok>
 
never been stung by a wasp and a bee only stung me as it was in my shoe the stupid little thing lol, but not bees fault really.

agree on wasps, i am not sure they are as useless and just here to annoy us as made out though, i think there was some use for them in the garden. kill other pests etc?

also why did you assume the wasp was female :bandit:

seen documentaries of people who have had nests in the bedroom etc, but think that was mainly hornets.

i am just waiting for the "i woke up with a sore ass, and no idea how it happened" type thing <laugh>
 
jenners04 said:
never been stung by a wasp and a bee only stung me as it was in my shoe the stupid little thing lol, but not bees fault really.
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I like bees, TBH, but not a fan of wasps.

jenners04 said:
agree on wasps, i am not sure they are as useless and just here to annoy us as made out though, i think there was some use for them in the garden. kill other pests etc?
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They do actually do some useful things. They eat ticks and flies, etc., and they do pollinate some types of flower. I still don't like the stripey dicks, though. <laugh>

jenners04 said:
also why did you assume the wasp was female :bandit:
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Because it stung me. <ok> I'm a biologist by trade, and stinging insects are almost exclusively female. Their sting is a modified ovipositor (egg-laying needle, basically) and males don't lay eggs. As they say: the female of the species is deadlier than the male! :grin:

jenners04 said:
...i am just waiting for the "i woke up with a sore ass, and no idea how it happened" type thing <laugh>
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Me, too. <laugh> It's got to be Zingy. #ziggywould Although, I bet wily old RHC has some interesting bedtime yarns. <yikes>
 
1 wasp... try this.

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A man who went into a rarely used spare room in his mother's home was shocked to discover that 5,000 wasps had made a giant nest in the bed.

The nest, 3ft wide x 1.5ft deep, was still expanding and the insects had chewed through the mattress and pillows to build it.

When pest controller John Birkett was called to the scene he realised it had been growing for several months. His client, who lives alone in the five-bedroom house in Winchester, Hampshire, had not been in the spare bedroom for months. When her son opened the door and discovered the nest in the single bed he realised a window had been left open the whole time.

Birkett, of Longwood Services, said: "We got a call as we normally do &#8230; but a bedroom &#8211; I thought that was unusual. I opened the door and I just couldn't believe it. The pillow was covered in this 3ft wasps' nest and the workers were still busy building the nest.

In 45 years I have never seen anything like it. There must have been 5,000 wasps. It's amazing that the woman didn't realise she was living with them.

"I got dressed up like a spaceman and tried to destroy as many as I could with the workers flying around the room. In that nest there must have been up to 700 queen wasps."

He said the only nest he had previously found in a room was about the size of a tennis ball.

Birkett finally managed to clear the area using a spray to kill the wasps. He was even able to rescue the beloved blanket on the bed.

Though he got the job done, Birkett was saddened at the death of so many wasps. "It was a work of art and they had worked so hard, but she looked at it and said, 'No, no, no - you've got to get rid of it.' If they did that in three-and-a-half months, that's amazing, isn't it? They're just little things."

http://www.theguardian.com/environm...asps-nest-single-bed-spare-bedroom-winchester
 
<yikes> That's a wasp nest and a half! I don't like wasps but killing 5,000 of the buggers is a touch harsh. Even I won't kill them if they don't bother me.

They weren't even using the room! They could have turned it into a feature. What a talking point! <laugh>
 
sad really even though i hate wasps personally.

they destroy a bed, 5000 of them must die, yet we humans destroy 5000 trees and who gives a ****!
 
Remember there being an underground wasp nest in one of the beds in the garden when I was quite young. Used to foolishly enjoy going down there with a stick and poking around in the hole. Didn't get stung once somehow.

Never did this though

[video=youtube;3ho1s6xUi4I]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ho1s6xUi4I[/video]
 
jenners04 said:
sad really even though i hate wasps personally.

they destroy a bed, 5000 of them must die, yet we humans destroy 5000 trees and who gives a ****!
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Sad? Really?

<laugh>

Who gives a **** they're snidey horrible little ****ers
 
Tobes said:
Sad? Really?

<laugh>

Who gives a **** they're snidey horrible little ****ers
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you know the point i was making you twat <whistle>

i don't like them either, but it wouldn't have been too much hassle to rehouse them would it? they have their use as much as we do on this planet after all lol.
 
jenners04 said:
you know the point i was making you twat <whistle>

i don't like them either, but it wouldn't have been too much hassle to rehouse them would it? they have their use as much as we do on this planet after all lol.
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How the hell do you "rehouse" them and that nest and avoid getting hundreds of stings in the process? And where would you rehouse them?
 
InBiscanWeTrust said:
How the hell do you "rehouse" them and that nest and avoid getting hundreds of stings in the process? And where would you rehouse them?
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no idea not an expert,

i can guess, same way you would go about killing them maybe, all suited up etc they are only interested in protecting the queens aren't they, so if that's the case move the whole matress out into the sticks somewhere.

can you smoke them same as bees to calm them down? no idea.
 
jenners04 said:
no idea not an expert,

i can guess, same way you would go about killing them maybe, all suited up etc they are only interested in protecting the queens aren't they, so if that's the case move the whole matress out into the sticks somewhere.

can you smoke them same as bees to calm them down? no idea.
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You've obviously not watched the informative vid I posted above FFS!
 
jenners04 said:
you know the point i was making you twat <whistle>

i don't like them either, but it wouldn't have been too much hassle to rehouse them would it? they have their use as much as we do on this planet after all lol.
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Rehouse them? <laugh>

They have no use whatsoever btw.
 
They're pissed as farts at this time of year and becoming homeless. All of those that you see are females too, btw.

Tbf, haven't seen many this year at all. Had a bumblebee nest in the eaves may/june. Harmless
 
I went to bed last night and the next thing I knew it was morning #realproblems
 
donga darko said:
They're pissed as farts at this time of year and becoming homeless. All of those that you see are females too, btw.

Tbf, haven't seen many this year at all. Had a bumblebee nest in the eaves may/june. Harmless
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I had 3 nests last summer, but have had none this, no idea why it's been a pants year for the little horrors, but can't say I'm arsed either
 
Gerrez said:
I went to bed last night and the next thing I knew it was morning #realproblems
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i was expecting you to say woke up and the food cupboard was bare #realproblems <laugh>

so when you going out for food :bandit:
 
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