Bad Joke Thread - Volume 2

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I was walking past a mental asylum yesterday, when from behind a very high fence I heard 13, 13, 13 being repeated. Not being able to see over the fence I found a large hole a bit further down so went to look through it to see what was going on, and got poked in the eye with a stick, 14, 14, 14 was the new chant!
 
First Day at The Zoo: A guy starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps pelting him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?” (Wait for it !!!!!)………………

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The lion says: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees"

[Edit - eat your heart out, Chip Inn Long Stratton ;)]
 
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