Bad joke thread .... Volume 1

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brisbane-lion said:
No doubt about it Minxy, you are a quality sheila with quality taste (at least in jokes, but footy teams? Mmmmmmmmm, not so sure. Why not jump the fence and come over to the dark side?)
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She's got a brain in that pretty little head of hers, thats why Brisbane<ok>
 
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.


'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.


The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
 
skeleton walks into a bar and says
can i have a pint and a mop please,,,,
 
Panda goes into a bar eats a meal then shoots all the customers and starts to walk out
barman says why the **** did you do that
Panda says cos thats what Pandas do.
barman says really im going to look that up im sure they dont
he looks it up and says to the panda it says nothing of the sort
yes it does said the Panda look i will show you
and there it was in black and white
PANDA eats shoots and leaves
 
MIGHTY said:
Panda goes into a bar eats a meal then shoots all the customers and starts to walk out
barman says why the **** did you do that
Panda says cos thats what Pandas do.
barman says really im going to look that up im sure they dont
he looks it up and says to the panda it says nothing of the sort
yes it does said the Panda look i will show you
and there it was in black and white
PANDA eats shoots and leaves
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You cleaned that one up a lot didn't you? <laugh>
 
Poshminx said:
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.


'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.


The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
Click to expand...



I never realised I was a computer!!!
 
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