Off Topic Are parents to blame

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Commachio said:
Why do you assume that children being around an affectionate gay couple would have a negative impact?

I'd argue that a child seeing affection is a positive no matter what way you look at it.


thats what you said..So being adopted by a gay couple...Is the kid just meant to accept it?
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Yes they are, not sure what other option they have in most of those situations.
 
The Liebherr Legacy said:
Like I say, I believe these things are generational and this topic is just a generation or behind tackling racism.

Wouldn't surprise 25-30 years ago it was a commonly held opinion that it was unhealthy for children being raised in mixed race families.

That's not a dig at anyone btw, just the way I see it.
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Yeah I agree. A mate of mine is from Zimbabwe, and whilst I understand that politically there are race issues there, it's like he's 30-40 years behind the UK and Europe. He'll see a mixed race couple and make a screwed up face look and comment on how 'unnatural' it is. He then sees a mixed race child and he's full of sympathy for the 'poor little ****' about how he/she is going to have a tough time having mixed race parents.

I try and tell him that this has been normal for generation and that it really isn't an issue anymore. And that growing up in south London it was just the norm to see kids of black/white/asian/chinese mixed descent. He really can't get his head around that.
 
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PISKIE said:
Yeah I agree. A mate of mine is from Zimbabwe, and whilst I understand that politically there are race issues there, it's like he's 30-40 years behind the UK and Europe. He'll see a mixed race couple and make a screwed up face look and comment on how 'unnatural' it is. He then sees a mixed race child and he's full of sympathy for the 'poor little ****' about how he/she is going to have a tough time having mixed race parents.

I try and tell him that this has been normal for generation and that it really isn't an issue anymore. And that growing up in south London it was just the norm to see kids of black/white/asian/chinese mixed descent. He really can't get his head around that.
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Good example of making my point, cheers Pisk.
 
PISKIE said:
Yeah I agree. A mate of mine is from Zimbabwe, and whilst I understand that politically there are race issues there, it's like he's 30-40 years behind the UK and Europe. He'll see a mixed race couple and make a screwed up face look and comment on how 'unnatural' it is. He then sees a mixed race child and he's full of sympathy for the 'poor little ****' about how he/she is going to have a tough time having mixed race parents.

I try and tell him that this has been normal for generation and that it really isn't an issue anymore. And that growing up in south London it was just the norm to see kids of black/white/asian/chinese mixed descent. He really can't get his head around that.
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I have a mixed race child...Little darling costs me fortune..
 
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PISKIE said:
Yeah I agree. A mate of mine is from Zimbabwe, and whilst I understand that politically there are race issues there, it's like he's 30-40 years behind the UK and Europe. He'll see a mixed race couple and make a screwed up face look and comment on how 'unnatural' it is. He then sees a mixed race child and he's full of sympathy for the 'poor little ****' about how he/she is going to have a tough time having mixed race parents.

I try and tell him that this has been normal for generation and that it really isn't an issue anymore. And that growing up in south London it was just the norm to see kids of black/white/asian/chinese mixed descent. He really can't get his head around that.
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I got married 20 odd years back and it was a serious consideration for me and the Mrs.

Our decision to live in mostly asian areas after the kids came along was based on reactions from where we were.

I don't believe it's an issue that we discuss these things without judgement tbh.
 
Commachio said:
exactly..you brought it up

Better for a homeless kid to be with a ****y couple or non at all,,,along those lines'
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Eh ? You brought it up, about whether a gay relationship lasted forever. Not sure what that has to do with it tbh.

But yeah, I would say it's better for a kid to be with loving parents, than none at all. Their sexual orientation doesn't really matter tbh.
 
thefanwithnoname said:
The efffects can be wide ranging, no argument, but there will be effects.

Doesn't have to be negative effects

So for example so currently most gay men tend not to be bisexual. This kid could be changing that dynamic.

Sociologists and psychologists have argued that depending on what number you are born cam effect you. So eg younger brothers or youngest of kids have more chance of being gay

If stuff like that has an effect then a changing dynamic in parental relationships will effect you.
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Sorry, not really following that post ?

Are you trying to say that if a kid has a gay parent they they are more likely to be gay themselves ?
 
PISKIE said:
Eh ? You brought it up, about whether a gay relationship lasted forever. Not sure what that has to do with it tbh.

But yeah, I would say it's better for a kid to be with loving parents, than none at all. Their sexual orientation doesn't really matter tbh.
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Doesn't it?

Like it said earlier in the week, my mate got sacked for calling a **** a ****.

What about the kids feelings?
 
PISKIE said:
Eh ? You brought it up, about whether a gay relationship lasted forever. Not sure what that has to do with it tbh.

But yeah, I would say it's better for a kid to be with loving parents, than none at all. Their sexual orientation doesn't really matter tbh.
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Not sure I agree 100%.

If the child is to be the centre point of the discussion then the effect on the child has to be considered

So a hetro couple can be turned down for many reasons, some really can't be argued against but some can be denied due to ethnicity and others will be because of lack of experience (yes I kid you not).

The process doesn't stop after adoption either. Young kids growing up finding out they are adopted can and do go off the rails. Incidences can range from 13 year olds ****ting the end and rubbing it all over the walls etc to self harm.and in extreme cases killing the adoptive parents

Yes some of these are extreme cases but hopefully you see it's nit as simple as "loving family"
 
thefanwithnoname said:
Not sure I agree 100%.

If the child is to be the centre point of the discussion then the effect on the child has to be considered

So a hetro couple can be turned down for many reasons, some really can't be argued against but some can be denied due to ethnicity and others will be because of lack of experience (yes I kid you not).

The process doesn't stop after adoption either. Young kids growing up finding out they are adopted can and do go off the rails. Incidences can range from 13 year olds ****ting the end and rubbing it all over the walls etc to self harm.and in extreme cases killing the adoptive parents

Yes some of these are extreme cases but hopefully you see it's nit as simple as "loving family"
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Not sure what your actual point is here in relation to the discussion.
 
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PISKIE said:
Sorry, not really following that post ?

Are you trying to say that if a kid has a gay parent they they are more likely to be gay themselves ?
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Ok mate Im not sure how to clarify this for you. The argument was it can effect a kid. For some reason a couple of you think it implies negative. I'm saying no effect the can be anything

A kid growing up with a homophobic father or racist father etc will at some point be more accepting of those views.

Currently research shows that women are less gay and more bisexual and men are less bisexual and more gay. My example was to show that one effect could change that. No judgement as to that being positive or negative. I was asked so gave an example
 
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Commachio said:
Doesn't it?

Like it said earlier in the week, my mate got sacked for calling a **** a ****.

What about the kids feelings?
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No it doesn't.

Your mate getting sacked was just a nob headed reaction from your manager. Should have been nipped in the bud instead of being blown out of all proportion.

The kids feelings, as I've said will be affected more by whether they are in a loving family unit. Their parents sexuality probably comes way down on the list of priorities. Being in a loving home, where they are supported, looked after, given opportunities to express themselves and supported to develop their own personalities is way more important.
 
Commachio said:
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Its what I work for
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If that is family mate you may have made a bad choice to post on here (I have two granddaughters I live for by the way), if the clowns on the politics board see this they will use it in some way.
 
thefanwithnoname said:
This is becoming a theme <laugh>

Either I'm expressing badly or you are not following the conversation, or what I'm responding to

My point is "loving family" isn't as simple as just giving someone a kid. There are many issues
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Yeah but that would apply equally to homosexual and heterosexual couples, no?
 
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Diego said:
If that is family mate you may have made a bad choice to post on here (I have two granddaughters I live for by the way), if the clowns on the politics board see this they will use it in some way.
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Highly doubtful anyone would go after another posters kids on here tbh.

And if it did happen it'd only be one of your pals who'd do that anyway ;)
 
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