Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

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The madam opened the brothel door in Glasgow and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam.

"No, I must see Valerie," he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive. There were no discounts. The price was still £5000.

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

The man replied, "Edinburgh .."

"Really", she said. "I have family in Edinburgh .."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I'm her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver your £15,000 inheritance in person ................"

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain ...................

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer
 
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Gone For A Walk said:
....going private means using resources that would otherwise be working in the NHS. In fact many are 'working' in the NHS but reduce hours so they can go and earn more in private work.
Cancer patients can still be left waiting for treatment. Friend of mine was diagnosed and then left more than 3 months before treatment started.
Not good enough. It's a mess.
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I don’t know if you remember a surgeon a Mr Royston, he pioneered keyhole surgery in the UK, he had to learn it in the USA on living pigs as the practice was outlawed in the UK, anyway, he did my vasectomy as a guvvie at his house on Newland Park for £40, a decent amount 38 years ago, anyway a few years later I was working at his house, his wife was as mad as a hatter, she was moaning about him always working, oh yes says I, yes he does 2 days a week at Hull Royal, 2 days at Bupa and a day at his private clinic in Switzerland.

We saw his bank statements strewn about, he was earning thousands of pounds a week from his private stuff, and still doing foreigners for cash on a weekend.

My point is my wife needs a wisdom tooth out, the NHS is a minimum 40 weeks wait, yet if she pays £2700 she can have it done next week at Spire, how can this be right? that service should be available to all not just the well off.
 
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steverico said:
I don’t know if you remember a surgeon a Mr Royston, he pioneered keyhole surgery in the UK, he had to learn it in the USA on living pigs as the practice was outlawed in the UK, anyway, he did my vasectomy as a guvvie at his house on Newland Park for £40, a decent amount 38 years ago, anyway a few years later I was working at his house, his wife was as mad as a hatter, she was moaning about him always working, oh yes says I, yes he does 2 days a week at Hull Royal, 2 days at Bupa and a day at his private clinic in Switzerland.

We saw his bank statements strewn about, he was earning thousands of pounds a week from his private stuff, and still doing foreigners for cash on a weekend.

My point is my wife needs a wisdom tooth out, the NHS is a minimum 40 weeks wait, yet if she pays £2700 she can have it done next week at Spire, how can this be right? that service should be available to all not just the well off.
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The reason why Consultants can both work for the NHS and undertake private work goes back to agreements made at the formation of the NHS in the 1940s.

The question as to why people are having to wait inordinate times for procedures in today's world, cannot be answered without breaking the Board's no politics rule.
 
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So, now you know...

Lightbulbs Wouldn’t Have Even Been Invented Yet
Movie/Show: Gone with the Wind
Mistake: In a street of Atlanta, you can see light bulbs
Year: 1939

In the iconic historical drama Gone with the Wind, set during the American Civil War era, a subtle yet intriguing anachronism managed to slip through the cracks. During a street scene in Atlanta, a modern-day invention made an appearance that was out of place for the film’s time period – light bulbs. Considering the film’s setting in the 1860s, light bulbs wouldn’t have been invented yet.

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The Great Escape (1963)
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Factual error: Why is Hilts not wearing a uniform? A serving officer captured behind enemy lines in civilian clothing risked being shot as a spy. If a prisoner's uniform was too worn or damaged to wear, it was routine for the German authorities to replace it - a P.O.W. in civilian clothes is an obvious escape risk. He is wearing a pair of tan chinos, a cut off sloppy Joe sweatshirt, both ridiculously anachronistic - Sixties hipster fashions - and nowhere even close to a World War 2 uniform. He is also wearing Army Type III Service boots - something that would never have been issued to a fighter pilot.
 
Julia Roberts plays a hooker with a heart of gold in Garry Marshall’s classic romantic comedy Pretty Woman, 1990. You might not have noticed, but in one scene while having breakfast, Roberts is chowing down on a croissant.
Chatting with Richard Gere, the camera flashes between the two, and when the shot lands on Roberts again, she is eating a pancake.

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