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Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different
- Thread starter Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC
- Start date
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There were some other crackers when that cropped up.
A woman was shocked when her chopping board arrived looking like this:
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We bought some fairly expensive worktops that wouldn’t let you use any cleaning liquids creams or sprays on them at all ‘ Don’t leave any liquid drops spills stand , wipe the tops clean with a dry cloth!! Anyway they are fine with all these products - shall I tell them ?
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Okay, which one of you stroppy ****s was it? 
Pub called police after mum and son complained about portion of chips.
A dad got so angry that a portion of chips came without the advertised sauce that police had to be called.
James Lewin, 22, wanted some Brewer’s Fayre £5.79 chipotle beef chilli-topped chips which should have had cheese sauce, soured cream and spring onions on top.
But when they arrived he was not happy.
They were offered a full refund on their £70 order because the chef was ‘too tired’ to make their food again.
‘The food came out and there was literally none of it was on the food, like the cheese sauce you pay extra for. It was all in all terrible.’
He added: ‘The argument really was that it had none of the toppings it was meant to have, apart from one. You’re paying for stuff – you expect it all to be there.
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddr...pc=U531&cvid=17b5c1eb7bdf4241960ea6d65c297cfa
Pub called police after mum and son complained about portion of chips.
A dad got so angry that a portion of chips came without the advertised sauce that police had to be called.
James Lewin, 22, wanted some Brewer’s Fayre £5.79 chipotle beef chilli-topped chips which should have had cheese sauce, soured cream and spring onions on top.
But when they arrived he was not happy.
They were offered a full refund on their £70 order because the chef was ‘too tired’ to make their food again.
‘The food came out and there was literally none of it was on the food, like the cheese sauce you pay extra for. It was all in all terrible.’
He added: ‘The argument really was that it had none of the toppings it was meant to have, apart from one. You’re paying for stuff – you expect it all to be there.
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddr...pc=U531&cvid=17b5c1eb7bdf4241960ea6d65c297cfa
A Russian soldier ran up to a nun in downtown Moscow.
Out of breath he asked, "Sister, please may I hide under you skirt, I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
A moment later, two military policemen ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun, pointing, replied, "He went that way."
After the military police ran off, the solider crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister!"
"You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine."
The nun replied, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not being rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun smiled, "If you had looked a little higher, you'd have seen a great pair of balls too."
"I don't want to go to Ukraine either....."
Out of breath he asked, "Sister, please may I hide under you skirt, I'll explain later." The nun agreed.
A moment later, two military policemen ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun, pointing, replied, "He went that way."
After the military police ran off, the solider crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister!"
"You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine."
The nun replied, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not being rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun smiled, "If you had looked a little higher, you'd have seen a great pair of balls too."
"I don't want to go to Ukraine either....."
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-61597097
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****'s sake.
These aren't real vampires.
They're ****ing fancy dress vampires.
People dressed up in vampire costumes.
I thought they were real vampires.
I got excited for a minute.
They're not.
They're just people dressed up as vampires.
Not actual, real vampires.
Nothing to see here.
I'll just have to wait a little longer for the ****ing undead then.
Bloody Hell.
I just wish people would be a little clearer.
I feel stupid.
Pseudo vampire ****s, them.
Don't be so sure, Have you seen the picture in the Daily Mirror?
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If you were a real vampire and you wanted to move around unnoticed, where would you go?
Whitby, that’s where.
You’ve not thought this through Ern.
