Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

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Kempton said:
Agreed, they're nice enough but you can get as good or better for half the price.
Click to expand...

I'm in a real bad habit at the moment of getting the dodgiest, dirtiest pizzas possible. This invariably means a desperate topping like doner meat, jalapenos and chilli sauce from a grim local establishment.

I know it's awful, but I like it.
 
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Bum_Chinned_Crab said:
I'm in a real bad habit at the moment of getting the dodgiest, dirtiest pizzas possible. This invariably means a desperate topping like doner meat, jalapenos and chilli sauce from a grim local establishment.

I know it's awful, but I like it.
Click to expand...
Me too, sloppy as you like and plenty Jalapenos.
 
Fred and Fiona were making passionate love in Fred's Transit van when suddenly Fiona (being a bit on the kinky side) yells out: "Oh, fat boy, whip me, whip me!"

Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had even slept with Fred let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits that, "Yes, I did."

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims: "I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."
 
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