Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

  • Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
  • Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!
TIGERSCAVE said:
First time in 686 games as a manager Guardiolas team have conceded 5....
Click to expand...

You must log in or register to see images
You must log in or register to see images


I decided I might fall asleep if I watched the above, as I'd already watched the following two matches live.
You must log in or register to see images
 
Last edited:
I've watched The Italian Job a few times, but all I can think is that she looks different in a crash helmet.

You must log in or register to see images
 
A few jokes from other forums. Probably repeats, but pfft.

Sitting on the sofa in my hiviz jacket, just reflecting....

I noticed there is a competition for 'World's best sexual contortionist', so I've entered myself.

My Uncle always had good advice, He told me once, "the secret to good theatre is always leave them wanting more!" Really great bloke but a terrible anaesthetist.

I was in Asda, looking at fly killers, says to a young lad stacking shelves, "Will this be any good for wasps?" He looks at me, and says, "No, that'll kill them."

The two unwritten rules for life:
1.
2.

My mate was having a tattoo of an Indian on his back halfway through he said to the tattooist "Don't forget his tomahawk" The tattooist said "Give me a chance mate I ain't finished his turban yet"

Left my hearing aids in to get repaired last week, they said they'd be in touch soon. Haven't heard anything since.

I got thrown out of Chester Zoo this afternoon because they didn’t like my Rod Hull impression. To be fair, neither did the emu.

At the opticians here, they said they'd fix my glasses within 5 minutes. But I can't see it happening.

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

My granddad was responsible for downing 43 German planes in WW2. To this day he still holds the record as the worst mechanic in the Luftwaffe.

My mate from Liverpool has started working in a local slaughterhouse, stunning the animals. They've never seen a scouser with a job.

I paid a carpenter upfront to make a double bed out of wood. The bastard's gone and done a bunk.
 
  • Like
Reactions: askewshair, FER ARK, rovertiger and 7 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back