Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

That's having the proper players to play counter attack Terry.

 

Reet, I've been on the rummage for something to brighten the mood.

I spotted an albino Dalmatian yesterday. Well, it was the least I could do for him.

I hate people who use the same word twice in a sentence. Enough is enough.

The phrase “Who goes there?” has been around for sentries.

JRR Tolkien's first name was Jive.

I've just seen two women, neither of whom was Chaka Khan. I'm beginning to think she might have been lying.

Laway! I don't know what that means, but Enya wanted me to say it.

The man working on the latest revision of the dictionary has just passed away. I thought he’d be further through than that by now.

Apparently Black Country women have broader accents than the men. The female of the species is more Dudley than the male.

I got my friend a telepathic abacus. It's the thought that counts.

Saved a bundle on my car insurance this morning ............ I left the scene of the accident!

This is the first year I have not been able to go to the Dominican because of Covid-19. Normally I don't go because I can't afford it.

I was walking down the street yesterday and I saw these two blind blokes squaring up to fight. I shouted "My money's on the one with the knife."
You should have seen how ****ing fast they both ran off

 

I woke up this morning after a terrible nightmare. In my nightmare we finished bottom of the Championship and were relegated.
Thank goodness it wasn't true. Are the fixtures out for next season yet? When do we play Norwich and Wycombe?

 

BBC
A Premier League club came close to losing £1m during a transfer deal because of cyber hackers.

The National Cyber Security Centre (NCSC) said it was only the intervention of the unnamed club's bank that stopped the theft.

It was one of several incidents highlighted as evidence that sport needed to improve its cybersecurity.

"The impact of cybercriminals cashing in on this industry is very real," said the NCSC's Paul Chichester.

A new report from the NCSC says the email address of a Premier League club's managing director had been hacked during a transfer negotiation, leading to the attempt to steal the £1m.

The report also says that a Football League club was targeted by hackers who cut off its security systems, blocking turnstiles and almost resulting in a fixture postponement.

And it added that in one incident a member of staff at a racecourse lost £15,000 after attempting to buy groundskeeping equipment from a fake version of eBay.

Sir Hugh Robertson, chair of the British Olympic Association, said in the report: "This report is a crucial first step, helping sports organisations to better understand the threat and highlighting practical steps that organisation should take to improve cybersecurity practices."

 

Errrrr.....

 

It's gonna make the next James Bond film a bit of a damp squib.

 

"The name's Bond...James Bond"

"No...no it's not that name, I've checked the list. Are you sure you registered properly...did you click on the link we emailed you?"

 

Maldini shouldn't have bothered playing 25 years for Milan, he could've just played one for Birmingham.

 

LOL nice to know there are pillocks at other clubs too.

 

Hey Jude, don't make it bad...

 

Rock myths...

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2012/mar/27/jocky-wilson-other-rock-myths

 

Manager of the month is no longer an award, more club policy at Watford.

 

You've nicked that from somewhere and been waiting for a chance to shoe horn it in.

 

It's a cheaper method for churning the milk to make cheese as opposed to having to purchase expensive equipment no doubt.

 

Is it similar to the Bukake method of churning milk?

 

Apparently they chop its head off first