A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London . "I vish to buy sex viz you." "Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour." "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky." "No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10." Helmut agrees So off they go the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees." The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested. "Now you vill get down on your hans und knees." This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs. "You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you." She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying). But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it's several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?" "Zat," replies the German, "is ze Four-sprung Duck Technique.
An Englishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the mountains of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” asked the man. “That’s the Memory Man.” said the bartender. “He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out.” So the man goes over, and thinking he won’t know about English football, asks “Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?” “Liverpool,” replies the Memory Man. “Who did they beat?” “Leeds,” was the reply. “And the score?” “2-1.” “Who scored the winning goal?” “Ian St. John,” was the old man’s reply. The tourist was bowled over by this and told everyone back home in England about the Memory Man when he returned. A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian only this time he was older and more wrinkled. Because he was so impressed, man decided to greet the Indian in his native tongue. He approached him with the greeting “How”. The Memory Man replied, “Diving header in the six yard box!!
Another Sad outcome of the pandemic, some on here if reading have support when opening and know it will all go back to normal at some point... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52199185
FOR ALL THE BRAIN BOXES OUT THERE JUST TO PASS THE TIME.... I cant get my head around it but have come up with a sort of answer.. I read on another thread, that if every one in the UK (66.65 million) stood on a one metre square that the amount of land they would take up would be 10 square miles.. I thought that cant be right and have come up with an answer of 38.85 square miles... am I way off.....?....
If 66.65 million people all stood on a one metre square, they'd cover 1 sq metre. provided they could stop the ones at the bottom squishing out too far under the weight. If they stood on a different sq metre each, they'd cover 66.65 million square metres, which is just about 26 1/4 square miles, which is roughly the size of Wolverhampton, or Chesterfield and slightly less than Hull.
Had to laugh at this, 'detrimental to the area', it's Whitefriargate ffs! Perhaps if he put a board on his truck saying 'Closing Down Sale' it'd fit in. https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/new...ws/coffee-seller-conflicts-needs-area-4033726
It's a bit lacking in detail, and it could be just someone taking A Liberty, but can anyone shed any light on this story? "A woman who says she is in a relationship with a 92-year-old chandelier has lost a discrimination case against The Sun newspaper. Amanda Liberty, who says her sexual preference is an attraction to inanimate objects, had complained than an article in the tabloid was “pejorative to her sexual orientation”. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/worl...ms-discrimination/ar-BB12DYMH?ocid=spartandhp Hmm, a light bulb moment. Maybe they misunderstood, and she likes aircraft builder, Bill Lear's daughter? please log in to view this image
