Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

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It had been snowing all night. So at ...

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse.
 
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Reactions: HGS66, Van Winkle bamber, THE EXCLUSIVE 10% and 9 others
balkan tiger said:
It had been snowing all night. So at ...

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse.
Click to expand...
Thou shalt not! Thou shalt not!

Oh yes we ****ing well shall!

Billy Connolly.
 
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balkan tiger said:
It had been snowing all night. So at ...

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse.
Click to expand...

Revealing.
 
I just been to the English on the other side of town and bought 6 meat pies, some proper back bacon, a string of Lincolnshire sausages and half a black pudding.

So I've got meat pies and chips for dinner tonight and a fry up in the morning.

I snaffled one of the Steak and Ale pies cold in the car on the way home though :emoticon-0165-muscl
 
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Stockholm Tiger said:
I just been to the English on the other side of town and bought 6 meat pies, some proper back bacon, a string of Lincolnshire sausages and half a black pudding.

So I've got meat pies and chips for dinner tonight and a fry up in the morning.

I snaffled one of the Steak and Ale pies cold in the car on the way home though :emoticon-0165-muscl
Click to expand...
Is that the equivalent of the Indian or the Chinese?
 
balkan tiger said:
It had been snowing all night. So at ...

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse.
Click to expand...
Love it. The way this country is going unfortunately.
 
Leon T Trout AFC said:
Terrible innit, that you can't just go 'round offending people anymore.

Which is essentially the main gripe of the 'piece'.

I actually wish it were true in a way, but it's just tabloid bullshit that idiots willingly suck up and repeat.
Click to expand...

Going by the likes it got and the comments it looks like you're in the minority, which these days make you the winner. Well done.
 
balkan tiger said:
Going by the likes it got and the comments it looks like you're in the minority, which these days make you the winner. Well done.
Click to expand...
It was very much like a BNP/Britain First type post. It's good for a little giggle, but its not something most people really believe is right.

And yeah, likes ... ffs. Facebook has a lot to answer for.
 
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Reactions: Leon...
balkan tiger said:
It had been snowing all night. So at ...

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse.
Click to expand...

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