Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

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Bought my wife's xmas presents today while it was Black Friday. I got her some perfume and a dildo.

Not sure I bought the right things, as she's a but fussy, but if she doesn't like the perfume she can go **** herself.
 
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Bought my wife's xmas presents today while it was Black Friday. I got her some perfume and a dildo.

Not sure I bought the right things, as she's a but fussy, but if she doesn't like the perfume she can go **** herself.
You have made yourself redundant.
 
Took the dog for a walk the other day, a bit later than normal and it was dark, forgot to take torch, couldn't see where it had pooped. Next morning dog went straight to where it had left it's package and stood over it until I picked it up. I was gobsmacked and pleasantly surprised. Dog got extra treats on return home.
Was it outside Allam's front gate? Hope so.