Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different
- Thread starter Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC
- Start date
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Killer Kluivert's lad can play a bit.
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BBC SportVerified account@BBCSport 48m48 minutes ago
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Barcelona's unbeaten record continues after a 1-1 draw with Barcelona, but they should have had all three points.
Everyone's talking about Lionel Messi's goal that never was.
According to the BBC on twitter Barca and playing themselves now.
More
Barcelona's unbeaten record continues after a 1-1 draw with Barcelona, but they should have had all three points.
Everyone's talking about Lionel Messi's goal that never was.
According to the BBC on twitter Barca and playing themselves now.
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The sharing of marriage...
The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered......
'THE TEETH.'
The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered......
'THE TEETH.'
A Yorkshire guy and a Scouser go into Greggs the bakers.
The Scouser nicks 3 pies and puts them in his pocket, then boasts to the Yorkshire guy, "Did you see that? The staff never even saw me."
The Yorkshire guy says, "That's nowt mate, watch this."
So the Yorkshire guy goes back into the shop and says to the manager, "Gi'us a pie and I'll show thee some magic," and eats the pie in front of him, and then does it twice more.
The manager says, "So, where's the magic in that?"
The Yorkshire guy says, "Go and check that Scouser's pocket."
The Scouser nicks 3 pies and puts them in his pocket, then boasts to the Yorkshire guy, "Did you see that? The staff never even saw me."
The Yorkshire guy says, "That's nowt mate, watch this."
So the Yorkshire guy goes back into the shop and says to the manager, "Gi'us a pie and I'll show thee some magic," and eats the pie in front of him, and then does it twice more.
The manager says, "So, where's the magic in that?"
The Yorkshire guy says, "Go and check that Scouser's pocket."
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Jamie Vardy getting some verbal encouragement from the Spurs Fans last night.
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Jamie Vardy getting some verbal encouragement from the Spurs Fans last night.
It worked, he scored
It worked, he scored
Not sure whether they starting chanting that before or after he scored.
The very beginning of this clip shows the first attempt to be rather less successful...
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