Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

At least it wasn't closed due to iceberg damage.

 

At least it wasn't closed due to iceberg damage.

Bloody iPad

 

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DATING IN THE 60s. Remember those days ?

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960, and James had a date with Annabella.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
'Oh, come on in!' Annabella's mother said as she welcomed James.
'Have a seat in the sitting room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Tea?'
'Tea, please,' James said. Mum brought the tea.
'So, what are you and Annabella planning to do tonight?' she asked interestedly.
'Oh, probably go to the flicks and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the coffee bar, perhaps have a walk on the beach afterwards.'
'Annabella likes to screw, you know,' Mum informed him.
'Really?' James gasped, surprised to say the least. 'Oh yes,' mother continued, 'When
she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!'
'Is that so?' asked James, incredulously.
' Oh yes,' she said.
'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!'
'Phew! Well, thanks for the tip!' James said as he began thinking about alternative plans for the evening.
A moment later, Annabella came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture, wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail.
She greeted James.
' Have fun, kids!' mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completelydishevelled Annabella burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.
'The Twist, Mum!' she yelled angrily to her mother in the kitchen.
'The bloody dance is called the ....Twist!'

 

It's difficult following City these days but I do appreciate the postings from those at home. I also love lots of the off topic posts ... especially the ones that trigger memories ... thank you.

 

I think that was more appropriate to Chazz's post above.

 

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?
EVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

 

Healthy people don't smoke.

 

Lighten up, it’s Friday!!

 

Yeah thanks for that mate, I work all weekend, every weekend

 

Not all non smokers are healthy.

 

The cream of the crop are at university. They are the future. God gelp us. Of course she didn't do it 2 hours before it was like 2 hours.



https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4937162/university-student-hot-water-bottle-fail-cold-water/

 

..but all smokers are unhealthy, which was the point.

 

Really? Many professional athletes smoke and always have done.

 

Well done the BBC for having a pop back at Murdoch's Sun newspaper.

 

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Real men drink a lot of beer and smoke 40 cigarettes per day.

 

US Navy officials have said it was "absolutely unacceptable" that one of their pilots used a jet's contrail to draw a penis in the sky.

The phallic outline over Okanogan County in the western US state of Washington provoked much mirth online.

But commanders at Naval Air Station Whidbey Island did not see the funny side and have ordered an inquiry.

A spokesman for the airbase confirmed that the aircraft involved was one of its Boeing EA-18G Growlers.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/42032629

 

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I knew I'd seen DMD on TV.