Acworth Thread part 2

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i like the article, it conveys your enthusiasm.

stylistically, you should try and stay in the same tense. you move a lot between present and past and it becomes rather messy.

also, your opening paragraph is rather strange...as you talk of a week being a long time in politics, but then use a year as the time period for comparison. therefore the metaphor doesnt really work as it should.

overall, its good and with a bit more tightness on form and style, it will be excellent
 
i like the article, it conveys your enthusiasm.

stylistically, you should try and stay in the same tense. you move a lot between present and past and it becomes rather messy.

also, your opening paragraph is rather strange...as you talk of a week being a long time in politics, but then use a year as the time period for comparison. therefore the metaphor doesnt really work as it should.

overall, its good and with a bit more tightness on form and style, it will be excellent

So you give him a C-? <laugh>
 
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