Aberdeen v St Mirren

Out of both cups, languishing ignominiously in the league and with Considine and Clark out for the rest of the season, Aberdeen fans may draw some comfort from the dulling familiarity of their predicament.

The talk from Pittodrie seems to be about “putting these disappointments behind us and moving on”, as if there existed a credible or tempting alternative (barring suicide or winding the club up entirely). Of course we’ll move on. Of course we’ll put these disappointments behind us – and, in some cases, these disappointments may be said to last all of five seconds, if that - and of course we’re bored of hearing these same things being said over and over again for twenty odd years and more. Just shut up and get on with it.

(Everything about this match says “lowest attendance of the season”, especially considering the midweek international played in Aberdeen. Given that the Attendance Prediction League is in its final stages and that I’m the one responsible for handing out the cash prizes, I’m going to need to start being more realistic in an attempt to break into the top three and thus dilute my financial hardship.)

Prediction: Aberdeen 3 St Mirren 1

Attendance prediction: 8241 (A very skillful guess, if I say so myself. The expertise is palpable.)

 

Here is the (Aberdeen home game) Attendance Prediction League as it currently stands, with the number after each name representing the closest each person has come to predicting an attendance:

1) Eric Cartman...................78
2) Johnny Rep...................277
3) Surreal Dance...............383
4) Psychosomatic...............424
5) Pud………………………………...505
6) MD 20/20......................571
7) Sunlini…………………………....618
8) Bhoy From Brum…………....800
9) MalteseMick...................854
10) Fabulous Fabio..............968
11) Tina...........................3456
12) Edge…………………………....3525

Feel free to make a prediction, whether you’ve done so already this season or not. All predictions to be in by five minutes before kick-off.

 

7,898

Aberdeen 2 St Mirren 3

 

Apologise and let's move on.

 

If it's any consolation I'm notoriously bad at predicting sporting outcomes. It's the main reason I don't gamble.

 

That’s as good a reason as any not to gamble, I suppose. (I don’t gamble because I’m an impeccably moral being, as you can imagine.)

If memory serves, though, you were fairly high up the leader board(s) in that game that used to be available on this site. I think it was called something like “I Know the Score” or similar. I really liked that game. I wish it would come back (and function properly, of course).

 

It would be more accurate to say I don't like to gamble with MONEY.

My burd and I played the lottery for a while. Twice she got four numbers. I never even won a tenner.

 

7354

Aberdeen 1 St Mirren 1

 

Dump her, Stereo, she’s undermining your sense of self-worth and manhood. You can’t have a girl-shaped creature earning more than a man (even on the Lottery).

But this reminds me that I have, in fact, “gambled” before, because I once bought a lottery ticket (in the very early days of its inception, when it seemed new and exciting and almost worthwhile - like Big Brother, say) and won just over £40 (or possibly £60) for getting four numbers right. Skill.

Not being possessed of the gambling instinct, however, I quit whilst I was ahead, lacking any temptation whatsoever to try to reinvest my handsome winnings in further high-stake dealings. (Never bought one since, in other words.)

Nice of you to say, I’m sure, but I can’t exactly comment on that without seeming awfully big-headed and self-obsessed. Blushing here.

That’s a shame, Maltini. Your decision looks sensible and correct, fair enough, but I’m still left pining for the thing. I don’t know why it was so enjoyable, but it was. Sort it out.

Brutal.

Brutal.

 

Att: 7,240

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21311530

After weeks of dismal predictions, I've put in the type of performance fit enough to grace Physco's thread.

 

Jesus. You've moved up into 2nd place, Pud, you sly wee bastard.

I'm happy for you, obviously, but on the other hand, I'm not.

You look set fair to win a cash prize. Nightmare.

(MalteseMick also appears to have finally made some movement up the table. A grim day all round.)

 

I honesty nearly typed a 2 instead of a 3...

Does that not count?

If I win this, it's getting added to my CV.

 

Don't push your luck.

To be honest, that’s why I’m so keen to get in amongst the prizes, as well. It’ll give me something to place in the great empty space on my CV marked List of Achievements. As I’ve always very generally been self-employed and fully intend to stay that way, I’ll be presenting this amended CV to myself. In the disastrous event that I don’t make the top three in this competition, I may edit the league table and print out a version that places me in amongst the winners. If I’m any judge of character, Pud, I’d be prepared to bet that I won’t check up to see if I’m telling the truth about my performance in the Prediction League and will likely be bowled over by the CV and consequently offer myself a smashing new job on the back of it.


The latest table.....


1) Eric Cartman...................78
2) Pud………………………………...114
3) Johnny Rep...................277
4) Surreal Dance...............383
5) Psychosomatic...............424
6) MD 20/20......................571
7) Sunlini…………………………....618
8) MalteseMick...................701
9) Bhoy From Brum…………....800
10) Fabulous Fabio..............968
11) Tina...........................3456
12) Edge…………………………....3525

 

I had look up “number anchoring” to see what you were talking about and discover what it all might mean. That was some Saturday night I just had, no mistake.

If it hadn’t taken me so long, I may have been inclined to respond with a bonding “lol” to your comment and then perhaps pass some upbeat comments on the inherently funny human madness of having one’s “guess” interfered with by the guesswork of others.....but no.

 

Well, let’s have a look at some extremely fascinating and fun-filled figures:

The average Aberdeen home attendance to date = 10,247
The average prediction made on this board = 10,597

The top six performers in a league table based solely on our average predictions, where the number after each name represents how closely our average predictions fall within range of Aberdeen’s average home attendance, would read as follows:

Pud 100
MalteseMick 144
StereoTypist 231
Johnny Rep 331
Psychosomatic 782
Eric Cartman 1917

This league table (above) makes me resent Eric Cartman’s current position at the top of the (real) league even more. He must hang his head in shame. And I’m at an absolute loss as to how Pud has blundered his way towards such average eminence. He’s been all over the place, ffs.

Number anchoring:

On all but one occasion, I’ve made the first guess. On those (12) occasions that I’ve made first guess, the average difference between my original guess and all guesses taken as a whole = 645.5.

On the one occasion that Johnny Rep made first guess, the average difference between his original guess and all guesses taken as whole = 2203.

To me, this clearly suggests that I’m a leader of men, someone to look up to and emulate, whereas J-Rep is viewed as an unmanly sneak, a morally unreliable character whose opinion on such matters is to be disdained. It’s as clear as day, to be honest, although it saddens me greatly to have to say it.


As mentioned, I’ve made first guess on 12 occasions – just one of the many burdens of leadership.

75% of the time this has been followed by the average guess of all participants being lower than my original guess.

25% of the time this has been followed by the average guess of all participants being higher than my original guess.

On those occasions that the subsequent guesses have been lower than my original guess, they have been lower by an average of 780.66

And on those occasions that the subsequent guesses have been higher than my original guess, they have been higher by an average of 240.


I kid you not.

 

From what I read we were lucky to get a draw against Saints.

Worrying times indeed.