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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite
- Thread starter Smug in Boots
- Start date
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Don Carlos is 90 years old and lives in an old age retirement nursing home.
Every night after dinner, he secludes himself at the far-end of the garden.
One night, Juanita, 80 years old, approaches him. They start chatting about life and old age, and after a while, he says to her,
"You know what I miss most of all ?"
*What ?" asks Juanita.
"SEX !!!" says Don Carlos.
Juanita laughed and exclaimed,
"You horny old man, but you couldn't get it up even if they pointed a gun at your head!"
"I know*, he said, "but I would love for a woman to hold it for me, if only for a while.'
"Well, I can help you with that," said Juanita; and she unzips his zipper, gently takes out his little member and holds it in her hand.
Don Carlos' face was one of sheer pleasure !
They agree to meet secretly in the garden every night, where they would sit and chat, and Juanita would hold his member during that time.
One night, however, Don Carlos did not appear at their garden hideout at the agreed time.
Alarmed, Juanita began looking all over for him to make sure he was okay.
She ended up finding him sitting on the edge of the swimming pool, next to Catalina, a 85 year old woman, who was holding his member.
Absolutely furious, Juanita screamed at him.
"YOU TRAITOR, BASTARD, SON OF A BITCH !!!
WHAT DOES THAT CATALINA HAVE THAT I DON'T HAVE ???"
Don Carlos, with all the pleasure on his face, replied,
"PARKINSONS !!!"
Every night after dinner, he secludes himself at the far-end of the garden.
One night, Juanita, 80 years old, approaches him. They start chatting about life and old age, and after a while, he says to her,
"You know what I miss most of all ?"
*What ?" asks Juanita.
"SEX !!!" says Don Carlos.
Juanita laughed and exclaimed,
"You horny old man, but you couldn't get it up even if they pointed a gun at your head!"
"I know*, he said, "but I would love for a woman to hold it for me, if only for a while.'
"Well, I can help you with that," said Juanita; and she unzips his zipper, gently takes out his little member and holds it in her hand.
Don Carlos' face was one of sheer pleasure !
They agree to meet secretly in the garden every night, where they would sit and chat, and Juanita would hold his member during that time.
One night, however, Don Carlos did not appear at their garden hideout at the agreed time.
Alarmed, Juanita began looking all over for him to make sure he was okay.
She ended up finding him sitting on the edge of the swimming pool, next to Catalina, a 85 year old woman, who was holding his member.
Absolutely furious, Juanita screamed at him.
"YOU TRAITOR, BASTARD, SON OF A BITCH !!!
WHAT DOES THAT CATALINA HAVE THAT I DON'T HAVE ???"
Don Carlos, with all the pleasure on his face, replied,
"PARKINSONS !!!"
I've just been holding on to book a doctor’s appointment.
The woman, on the recorded message, just said, ‘We apologise for your weight’.
I thought ‘you cheeky cow’ …
… but to be fair I do take a little responsibility myself.
The woman, on the recorded message, just said, ‘We apologise for your weight’.
I thought ‘you cheeky cow’ …
… but to be fair I do take a little responsibility myself.
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Thank you Lord for this lovely weather.
I've seen more camel toe than an Egyptian vet.
I've seen more camel toe than an Egyptian vet.
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While strolling around the Marina this morning about 7 am., I noticed a character shouting "Allah Akbar" and "Death to all infidels."
Then suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he would surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I informed the Police, the Coastguard, the Immigration Office and even the Fire Department.
It is now 11 a.m., the terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities have yet to respond.
I'm starting to think I wasted four stamps.
Then suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he would surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I informed the Police, the Coastguard, the Immigration Office and even the Fire Department.
It is now 11 a.m., the terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities have yet to respond.
I'm starting to think I wasted four stamps.
It's been a while since this one . . . .
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Get one of these lads. Lovely in this heatwave.
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