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All women do is f*cking moan.
First my wife bollocked me for nicking 50 quid out of the kid's copper jar and then a prostitute went mental when I paid her in 2p's and 5p's.
Funeral costs are so bloody expensive these days.
At my mother-in-law's, after paying for the bouncy castle and pony rides, we could barely afford the face-painting.
I heard my wife screaming in the bedroom. I ran upstairs to see a small spider on the wall. Relieved,
I chuckled to myself and hit the b*stard with a rolled up newspaper, then I killed the spider.