The it’s ok to not be ok thread

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C19RK73

C19RK73

Red & White army!
Jul 26, 2012
38,628
15,527
113
Sunderland
I’ve never been the same since I suffered serious health conditions at the age of 42, I’m 50 in June, and since then I’ve lost @grandpops and my mam, been made redundant twice, re-homed my disabled sister and nearly died. I’m now getting divorced but do you know what, lads?

Nobody ever asks, are you ok mate.

So are you ok brothers, are you?

Because we as a species are not as tough as everybody thinks.
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Brave post mate. I wouldn’t have the balls to do it. You have my respect for what it’s worth. I’ve never been in your position and I sincerely hope that I never will be.
One thing I’ve found though is that this message forum can be helpful as there is always someone here, myself included, willing to lend an ear.
I’ve said many a time that this football club will be the death of us but as supporters we are a special lot. Hope everything works out for you and your family.
 
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Evil Jimmy Krankie said:
Brave post mate. I wouldn’t have the balls to do it. You have my respect for what it’s worth. I’ve never been in your position and I sincerely hope that I never will be.
One thing I’ve found though is that this message forum can be helpful as there is always someone here, myself included, willing to lend an ear.
I’ve said many a time that this football club will be the death of us but as supporters we are a special lot. Hope everything works out for you and your family.
Click to expand...
It’s not always the major things, kranky, we beat ourselves up over the the little things sometimes, it’s what we do.
 
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C19RK73 said:
I’ve never been the same since I suffered serious health conditions at the age of 42, I’m 50 in June, and since then I’ve lost @grandpops and my mam, been made redundant twice, re-homed my disabled sister and nearly died. I’m now getting divorced but do you know what, lads?

Nobody ever asks, are you ok mate.

So are you ok brothers, are you?

Because we as a species are not as tough as everybody thinks.
You must log in or register to see images
Click to expand...
You’ve been through a hell of a lot in eight years mate,
I haven’t really had much happen to me but I have a few friends who have and they all seem to end up having a natter with me.
I must be a good listener <ok>
 
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Forums like this cn be good for talking especially for those who don't normally open up as you can retain some anonimity.

I've seen too many people taken early because they didn't openup/ask for help becauseof their own pride, masculinty or whatever reason and its never worth it
 
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Sorry to hear @C19RK73

I'd personally recommend the counselling services offered by the NHS to anyone and especially those who internalise their struggles. For most of my life I was weighed down by things I carried with me but in around 2018 I first began 1 to 1 counselling sessions with the NHS. To be fully honest I didn't find much benefit from it but I believed it was down to the counsellor, not in a bad way but I just felt I was making her sad and so I started to filter what I'd say for her sake, silly I know.
After a change of counselors things got better. The sessions would be me talking and just getting my thoughts and feelings out for a while and then after She would rationally and calmly challenge or show me reasons to challenge my negatives, very cathartic. This along with cognitive behaviour exercises really helped me become a lot more content and calmer not just in general but also when things become difficult as I feel i have the tools to deal with just about anything now.

I'm sure I just rang for the initial appointment, I didn't have to see Doctor first or anything.
 
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A lot on here know my story.

Widowed at 31. Remarried, but wife who was fine when we met was diagnosed with MS in 2013 and has progressively got worse.

I had a great group of friends but we barely see each other anymore due to life, families etc.

2 years ago, on Father's Day, I saw a Facebook post with all my mates on a stag do. I hadn't been invited by the stag or the best man. That really hurt, the pair of ****s, as I felt my personal circumstances had been a cause of this. My mates, that had no say in who was invited, I don't blame.

I've had counselling in the past. You don't particularly feel that it makes much difference but it probably does.

Without sounding corny, this is why I love Sunderland AFC. It's like a dog, always there for you without question. It doesn't mean to make you sad but can provide pure unrivalled joy, like Tuesday. Total escapism!!!

All the best C19RK73, and to all going through hard times.
 
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C19RK73 said:
I’ve never been the same since I suffered serious health conditions at the age of 42, I’m 50 in June, and since then I’ve lost @grandpops and my mam, been made redundant twice, re-homed my disabled sister and nearly died. I’m now getting divorced but do you know what, lads?

Nobody ever asks, are you ok mate.

So are you ok brothers, are you?

Because we as a species are not as tough as everybody thinks.
You must log in or register to see images
Click to expand...

Excellent post mate and many people don't know there is help available, even just talking to someone can feel like a massive weight off someone's shoulders.

Men especially just struggle on as though it's simply "part of life" so it builds up until bursting. It's a hugely underfunded area in the UK.

Hope you are ok, and everyone else on here of course.
 
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Well I've been a very lucky boy up to now, not tested as anything like severely as most .

Just keep going lads, even if it does seem like uphill forever. Life isn't fair , but most people have others rooting for them and willing to listen and help. Many don't " like to intrude", but will happily listen or help asked.
 
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Sorry to hear what you're going through , OP.

My advice? I know it sounds too clichéd but take each day at a time, each day is a milestone from where you were to where you are now. I've had some mental **** go on in my life in the last 10 years, but more recently my head was turned upside down on something that shouldn't have done so.

Add in the fact that each day is a task in itself with the condition I live with (Neurofibromatosis), I'm not trying one upmanship here, just saying we're all here for you when you're ready, and who you're ready to speak to.


Takes great strength to post about it in the first place, so you get my kudos.
 
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