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Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different
- Thread starter Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC
- Start date
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One day wife and husband watch TV together and finally one of them break the silence.
Wife: what are you getting me for our 10 year anniversary?
Husband: I'm taking you to Africa
Wife: wow that’s amazing I always wanted to go there. Then what you would get me for our 20th?
Husband: I will pick you up
Wife: what are you getting me for our 10 year anniversary?
Husband: I'm taking you to Africa
Wife: wow that’s amazing I always wanted to go there. Then what you would get me for our 20th?
Husband: I will pick you up
A man is alone in an airport lounge.
A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides that because she’s wearing a uniform, she’s probably an off-duty Flight Attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve?” The young woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world?” Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations?” The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the **** do you want?”
“Aha”, he says,… “American Airlines.”
A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides that because she’s wearing a uniform, she’s probably an off-duty Flight Attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve?” The young woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world?” Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations?” The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the **** do you want?”
“Aha”, he says,… “American Airlines.”
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition.
“What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked.
The man responded, “I guess I’ll go to driving school and get my license.”
At that moment, his wife, who was seated next to him, chimed in, “Officer, don’t listen to him. He’s a smart alec when he’s drunk.”
This woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, “I knew we wouldn’t get far in this stolen car.”
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked, “Are we over the border yet?”
“What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked.
The man responded, “I guess I’ll go to driving school and get my license.”
At that moment, his wife, who was seated next to him, chimed in, “Officer, don’t listen to him. He’s a smart alec when he’s drunk.”
This woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, “I knew we wouldn’t get far in this stolen car.”
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked, “Are we over the border yet?”
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He'll have a good career.
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
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The live footage of those astronauts return to earth looks so fake.
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That new KFC advert is weird, if the point of advertising is to get people talking about the brand I guess it's worked, other than that it's mad.
Might seem heartless, but tbh I find it hard to feel sorry for them. They knew the risks.
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You know who you are...
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