The Daily Arsenal

[Tobes]

Yep that's what I was getting at. Tbh though, it's usually the agent that places the advert, and depending on the kick-back will usually bury it in the classifieds!

In the age of the Internet they're harder to hide in fairness

I've lost a couple due to that btw. Hurts as you've spent on surveys etc.

 

[Hoddle is a god]

So how is that a faux pas when I said you should make sure the extra units didn't incur (additional) 106, given that I didn't know how many units your fantasy scheme already incorporates?

Also, your figures don't stack up. The profit is £400k and two extra units will add another £100k to the profit.

That's £50k per unit profit so if your profit with the extra units is going to be £500k then that averages out at 10 units.

Making the units smaller increases their price psf but as you're using the existing envelope to squeeze extra units in you will also give away space to communal and access areas for the two extra flats. You can't charge buyers a premium for corridors.

Also if you're refused the extra two units having invested money (which come out of your profit fella, if you've learned one thing from this roasting then make it that) in new drawings and your Section 73 then you've killed the entire projects. Even your fake returns are too skinny to have a gamble like that.

Turning it makes far more sense. Only a moron wouldn't turn it.

I really cannot be arsed going through this with you any more.

I do not expect an estate agent to understand the whys and wherefores of property development, as you are simply interested in making a quick profit, and leaving all the dirty work to someone else.

And yes, you did make a faux pas. You tried to wum on the basis that we'd have a social housing contribution, and then were forced to rapidly backtrack and admit that, in fact, you know nothing about pub conversions. Talking on subjects that you know nothing about is a speciality of yours, it would seem.

 

[Tobes]

No, that isn't what I am saying, at all. Please read exactly what I have said.

I can see why you weren't very successful with property deals, Tobes.

I've read every word of it, and you've changed your story throughout.

 

[PINKIE]

I've read every word of it, and you've changed your story throughout.

HIAG's bullshit 101 doesn't hold nearly as much weight as section 106 or 73

 

[Stan]

The bank wants its money. The pub had been failing for many years, and the mortgage fell into arrears. It indulged the owner by enabling him to get planning for redevelopment, but the owner ran out of money, and has to sell before the bank appoint a Receiver (which is what they have threatened. I heard about this last week, and I have this short window of opportunity to get a deal done. I am confident I can do that.

I don't know if the bank will take a £49k hit, but the way negotiations are progressing, I get the impression that some kind of deal is certainly on the cards. We will see.




Oh, ffs! Why is this difficult for you to grasp, Tobes?

I'm not negotiating with the bank for the sale of the pub - I have already agreed with the pub's owner that I can buy the pub for whatever price it takes to clear the company's mortgage, on the basis that the bank doesn't call on its PG. I have explained all of this several times!

I'm dealing (together with the owner) with the bank to see if they will take a hit on their legal charge.

So just to clarify, when you said you were dealing with the receiver and later said that you were dealing with the bank, you were in fact talking ****e? I believe you explained that away by stating that you think that most people reading your fairytales on not606 are muppets.

I love that as it's that belief that gets you into these situations when you post some ill thought through bit of "wisdom" and then get ripped to shreds by the muppets who are actually better informed than you are!

That's how I worked out that you went to boarding school.

 

[Hoddle is a god]

I've read every word of it, and you've changed your story throughout.

Whatever. I cannot be arsed with this any more.

I'm buying a pub that has planning for residential, at a very decent price, which my builder partner is going to build out, and we think we are going to make a tidy profit.

That is the long and short of it.

 

[Hoddle is a god]

So just to clarify, when you said you were dealing with the receiver and later said that you were dealing with the bank, you were in fact talking ****e? I believe you explained that away by stating that you think that most people reading your fairytales on not606 are muppets.

I love that as it's that belief that gets you into these situations when you post some ill thought through bit of "wisdom" and then get ripped to shreds by the muppets who are actually better informed than you are!

That's how I worked out that you went to boarding school.

<yawn>
Whatever.

 

[Spurlock]

I'm a security officer. My wage went up 50p an hour.

I'm a player, you would be trying to fleece me, I would be trying to **** your wife.

all this because just like last week, my cock is still the biggest.

 

[Hoddle is a god]

HIAG's bullshit 101 doesn't hold nearly as much weight as section 106 or 73

Stan ****ed up on the section 106 point (again), and had to rapidly retreat. Do you see me bleating on about it?

 

[Stan]

I really cannot be arsed going through this with you any more.

I do not expect an estate agent to understand the whys and wherefores of property development, as you are simply interested in making a quick profit, and leaving all the dirty work to someone else.

And yes, you did make a faux pas. You tried to wum on the basis that we'd have a social housing contribution, and then were forced to rapidly backtrack and admit that, in fact, you know nothing about pub conversions. Talking on subjects that you know nothing about is a speciality of yours, it would seem.

I'd certainly agree with the fact that I'm happy to leave the dirty work to someone else!

I know my business model and stick to it. You've demonstrated that you couldn't build a model house!

You dumb bastard, what a way to spend your evening, making a tit out of yourself on the internet trying to convince strangers in the know that you're a hot shot lawyer/property developer who can't even calculate what his profit is on his fake development project!

 

[Hoddle is a god]

You dumb bastard, what a way to spend your evening, making a tit out of yourself on the internet trying to convince strangers in the know that you're a hot shot lawyer/property developer who can't even calculate what his profit is on his fake development project!

Your estate agent mentality will keep you stupid, Stan.

 

[PINKIE]

Stan ****ed up on the section 106 point (again), and had to rapidly retreat. Do you see me bleating on about it?

You got absolutely schooled on s106 the last time around. Even I know when s106 applies and I have no involvement in property other than buying my house. I would have thought a property lawyer would have a much better understanding of it. You also got schooled about contracts and severance packages in employment law and have shown that you have little to **** all knowledge about anything to do with law. Any monkey can google the ****e you do, but most don't make glaring contradictions that give them away as a gobshite like you mate.

 

[Stan]

Stan ****ed up on the section 106 point (again), and had to rapidly retreat. Do you see me bleating on about it?

Do you want me to get the 106 thread out!?

I'm going to look into the pub 106 issue tomorrow. If all councils have agreed to scrapping it then it's a sector that I'm now interested in, especially knowing that there are ****wits like you buying consented schemes with absolutely no understanding of values or costs!

 

[Stan]

Your estate agent mentality will keep you stupid, Stan.

And sadly your attention seeking mentality makes you look like an insecure **** every day.

 

[Tobes]

The outstanding mortgage is around £299,000 (as I said before). The bank will take that all day long, and the owner will sell to us for that price, because it clears the mortgage and there is no risk of the bank calling on the PG. However, I am negotiating with the bank to get it to clear the mortgage for less than is actually owed, on the basis that it won't call on the PG. I am confident that a deal can be struck for around £250k.

So you're expecting me to swallow that a bank who's owed £299k on a property is going to write off £49k to save themselves the hassle of repossessing said property - the market value of which is at least £450k, when they've also got the comfort blanket of a directors guarantee sat there should the disposal price fail to cover the mortgage advance?

Seriously?

You've been talking in riddles throughout, from your numbers to the supposed purchase process. But this whopper shows that you're talking absolute ****e.

 

[Lee263]

Whatever. I cannot be arsed with this any more.

I'm buying a pub that has planning for residential, at a very decent price, which my builder partner is going to build out, and we think we are going to make a tidy profit.

That is the long and short of it.

Of course you are sweetheart

 

[FosseFilberto]

. fcuk me that was some boring **** read ... ffs HIAG ... just admit that your 'builds' are just Minecraft and we can get back to debating footie ...

 

[PINKIE]

HIAG is going to be straight on the blower to the old bill after the 'bullying' he's had on his thread.

 

[Lee263]

Why do you lot even get riled up by talking to him? Of course he isn't converting an old pub, for **** sake, this is HIAG we are talking about, he's still having trouble converting himself out of his parents loft.

 

[Spurlock]

If I can get hold of some gimp masks...would you boys be interested in a cut price deal for the job lot?